Fidgety Fishy Kitty Poppin’

Friday we had to do my port dressing and needle changes as usual, and the one thing that was different is that we called ahead and had asked for a different nurse this time.  You see, after the ridiculous shenanigans of the previous week we had decided we were completely fed up with L and not going to deal with her any longer.  We hadn’t wanted to get her in trouble but it was time for a new nurse.  So, this past Friday we were scheduled to meet said nurse.

The new nurse was “P.”  P had a couple of advantages to L, but she had disadvantages as well.  For one, there’s a slight language barrier.  She has an accent.  We can understand her, but some words are kind of difficult to understand.  P is very, very nice.  However, P doesn’t understand complete protocol with a person who needs to be on daily fluids with a portacath and she wanted us to deaccess and reaccess every single day.

That makes absolutely zero sense.  ZERO.  Her reasoning is that “what if you get an infection being accessed all the time?”  Right.  That’s why we cap it with a sterile green cap, don’t get it wet, change the dressing and needle and are very careful with it.  That’s why in two months of continual accessing I haven’t had sepsis once.  Proper sterile technique.  I’m not saying we always get my port on the first needle stick (that is what we wanted her there to help us with!) however, as far as sterile technique we are very dutiful with that!  The infusion nurses have all taught us that a dressing and needle are good to go for one full week.  The problem that even the at home nurses themselves all admit up front to us is that they don’t work with people with ports often.  I’m not saying all the nurses in the world.  I’m saying all the nurses in this company.

Putting a needle in and out every single day would be torture for my port.  I’d be so bruised up.  It is really hard to stick.  It is also a time consuming process, it takes about an hour to set everything up properly, get the stick, and break down.  There would be no way that my insurance would pay for a nurse to come out to supervise that daily (until we were perfect at it), and furthermore, it’s just completely unnecessary.  That’s why I have a port and not a peripheral IV!  Heck, even a peripheral IV can stay in for three days before it needs to be moved.  She eventually relented that if the doctor wrote the prescription that way, and we hadn’t had an infection that it was probably fine…  However she thought it wasn’t safe because infection risk blah blah blah.  Yes, we know about infection risk.  That’s why we follow protocols.  It had both me and Master on edge though because there is no way he would be able to put my needle in before work each day, and the fact that she was even suggesting it made us think that she had no experience with ports at all.  Accessing them, yes.  However, if you are receiving medicine and fluids every day there is no reason at all to go through all of those needles each day.  She did seem to have good intentions.  I just wanted to put her in touch with the Infusion nurses who work with ports all day every day.  LOL!

Aside from that dramatic bit, she did seem to know a lot about accessing.  She watched Master access me and she did have some advice that L did not have.  She showed him a better way of anchoring my port to my chest so that it wouldn’t slide around as much which was good because my port has been so slidey.  She got in touch with the medical supply company and managed to get us some more supplies that we do need so that is good.  She taught us an even better method of cleaning my port site which are all very good things.  Then, at the end of the session it only wound up taking two needle sticks to get my port.  So, it wasn’t the worst session we’ve had.  After that session Master Pravus was really feeling like there was nothing more he could glean from another session with the at home nurses and he decided to call and ask them to discharge us.  We’re waiting to hear back from P.  She has to discharge us.  After she does, it’ll just be me and Master P (see what I did there?) on our own for my fluids.  We can do it.  I’ve no doubt.

After my port got fixed up we had to run errands because last week was so crazy.  Errands normally get run earlier on in the week but Master was so busy with work all week that they couldn’t get run for this reason or that.  So, we loaded up the car and went down to a few stores.  When we were done, we were driving by a store that said “We have fidget spinners” in the window.

Master was asking me what I thought of them.  I told him I hadn’t really seen them.  I had heard of them, but hadn’t seen a fidget spinner up close or anything.

“Oh, I think you’ll really like them!!  They have two, or three or four arms and they spin around in your hand and they’re fun!”

“Why?”

“They just do!”

“No, I mean.  Why are they fun?”

“Because they’re cool!”

“Oh.”

We had to make one more stop and then Master decided he wanted to try to find me a fidget spinner, of course.  So he drove back to that store that had the sign up (because it was ten minutes away) and we went inside.

“Do you guys have those fidget spinners the kids are all using?”

“Yeah.  I can’t sell you one though.”

“What?  Why?”  Master asked.

“They’ve all been recalled.  I don’t know why.”

Master was just about to leave with me when the guy whipped one out to show Master.

His was an off brand, and it looked like complete garbage.  I mean, I don’t care about “name brand” most of the time, but this particular one was seriously junk.  It was probably recalled for just not spinning, or falling apart or something.  Master chuckled when he saw it.

“See?  Sorry, Man.  If you want a spinner, try the King Soopers on Wadsworth.  They got ’em.  You gotta hurry though.”

It felt like some weird seedy dealing.  Were these things drugs or some kind of little toy?  I mean.  Just asking.

We went to the King Soopers on Wadsworth.  We walked up to an employee.

Master:  “Do you have those little hand spinners all the kids are playing with?”

I turned bright red.  I’m standing there in kitty ears and a heart skirt and the employees are all staring at me the moment he says this – each time he says this and it’s pretty humiliating.  I don’t even really know what the thing is.

Nothing doing.  They were out too.

We get to the car.

“You know, it’s OK Master.  It’s not that important.  We don’t need a spinner thingie tonight.  I’m sure we’ll find one eventually.”

“It’s the principal of the thing!  Besides, I like our random adventures to find random things.”

He whipped out his phone and started making phone calls.

“Do you have fidget..”

“Do you have those little fidget spinners?  You know, you put it in your hand and spin it?  All the kids are using them?  Yeah those things?  Oh.  Ok.”

“Hi do you have hand spinners?”

“DO YOU HAVE FIDGET SPINNERS?  Oh.  You do?  Sweet we’ll be right there.”

Oh my freaking.  Lord.

We get there and we walked to Customer Service which was starting to feel more like the “Walk of Shame” at this point.  The woman smiled and pointed to the giant bin of them.  They looked a bit better than the previous ones we were pointed to that were recalled.

Master told me I could pick any one I wanted out of the bin.  Of course the first one my hand touched was a pink Hello Kitty fidget spinner.  It was the only one I saw in the bin!  I was trying to decide if that was the one I wanted, or if maybe I wanted a black one or a see-through green one or what.  Master picked up a black one though, so I didn’t want to have the exact same one.  Besides, it did seem somewhat fate-like that the first one I touched was a Hello Kitty one.  I didn’t really know what to look for in a fidget spinner either, having not really seen one before, aside from the recalled ones briefly.

So, we got home late and we had our newly acquired “Fidget Spinners.”  You know.  The ones that all the “kids” are playing with.  Gosh.

“This thing is heavier than it looks!”

Master hefted it.

“It’s heavy for its size, Kitty.  Lookit!  Yours has bearings on the outside, too!  Mine doesn’t!  You gonna give it a spin now?”

He gave it back to me.  I guess I picked a good one without even knowing it.

“This is it?  This is what it does?”  I looked at it curiously, and then I laughed.  I had to admit, it kind of had a pleasantness about it.

“Now you can learn tricks with it, Kitty!”

“Tricks??”

Dongalor seems to like it too.  I don’t have a “great” one.  I guess the really fancy ones can spin for a minute or more.  Mine spins for about twelve seconds and stops, but that’s kind of fun too, because then you can hit it again.  He he.  I guess if I were so inclined there are actually tricks to be learned on YouTube and such.  I’m good though.  I’ve been playing with it in my weaker hand a lot too, to try to strengthen it up.  It’s kind of nifty on car trips.  Of course, now that I have one I’m noticing everyone that has one.  Ha ha.  The grocery checkout clerk, the next door neighbor, people standing in line places.  Too funny!

On Saturday we decided to buy a hospital tank for Henry so that we could be 100% certain the Ich was gone from his tank before planting the tank up.  We only wanted to buy a little 2.5 gallon tank because he was only going to be in there for two to three days maximum while the Ich finished dying.  We got the tank to a good temperature, we got him used to the temperature and salinity and we put Henry in there.  He was fine and dandy.  Of course he loves his ten gallon wonder tank, but who wouldn’t?  Still, it was only temporary.  No one likes being in the hospital.  Fishies included.

Everything was great!  Everything was fine!  With the evil Ich parasite defeated (I told you it was an easy one!) we decided to leave Henry in the hospital tank for one or two more days while we went out and bought some new plants and a couple of friends.  It is far easier to introduce a betta to a tank of fish than it is to introduce fish to a tank with a betta in it, after all.  Of FUCKING COURSE something bad had to happen though.  I walked over to the tank to say hello to Henry as I do several times per day and I told Master something was wrong!  Master came over right away.  He agreed Henry looked awful.

He was lethargic, his fins looked awful, his eyes were bugging out, and he wouldn’t respond when I was talking to him!  That’s not my baby boy!  That’s when Master noticed the heater had broken and overheated the tank to 86*  That is so dangerous for a betta!  That is so scary too because the tank is brand fucking new so why on EARTH would a brand new tank that we just bought go rogue like that??  We were so angry but of course our first order of business was to save Henry not to figure out which person at the company was going to get an earful.  Yes, they ARE getting an earful.  That is completely unacceptable, and they are lucky Henry is OK.  We unplugged his heater, and left him in that same water so that the water would slowly come down to a more reasonable temperature.  It would have been way worse for him to take him from 86* to 78* water, the shock of that could kill him.

He’s in his great big ten gallon tank again now, but if we plan to put him in a community tank (there won’t be other bettas, just a ghost shrimp and some neon tetras) then we’ll have to separate him again later and get him out into another different tank for a little while.  Oh my flipping lord we’re so mad.  I can’t believe the whole heater problem.  Henry has sure been through a lot lately!  Poor ickle fishy.

Oh, at the pet store Dongalor got a new toy!  This “crinkle cave.”  I think he likes it!  OMG.  He won’t stop playing with it.  Awww.

After that we rested for a bit.  Master decided to go outside and bring the trash out and when he came in he told me he had a surprise for me.  I followed him out the back door.

“What is it?”

“Can you hear that?”

“Oh my gosh!  Do we have baby birds?  Where are they?”

“Look!”  He pointed right above the door to the back of the house.

“What do we do? Whatdowedowhatdowedowhatdowedo?!?!?!”

“Nothing!  It’s nature!  You leave it alone, Kitty.”

“But, do we need bird seed now?  Do we need a bird feeder?  Do we really do nothing?  Nothing at all?  Can we help them, somehow?”

“You want to get a bird feeder?”  Master’s eyes lit up.  “We can do that.”  Maybe he thought I meant to take them indoors at first.  Of course not, I know better that that at least.  Ha ha.

“See, Kitty!  You’ve done such a good job with the yard you attracted baby birdies!  We have just the right things to make baby birdies come and stay!”  I think he was teasing me because I’ve been playing so much Viva Pinata.

Sunday wasn’t full of win.  Poor Master got one of his headaches.  Not one of his migraines (thank goodness!) but it did put a damper on things.  He was resting up for most of the day, and only started to perk up around 7PM.

We were expecting Monday to be really nasty outside though so Master decided to do his grilling then.  He made himself a hotdog, while I busied myself with the traditional Pop-Its.  Ah, noise makers!  We still have one more box or so of those but Master says we will need to get more for sure by July 4th!  We have sparklers coming out the butt hole though.  Hehe.

Monday morning I was sitting getting my Infusion and Master was about to hop into the shower when the doorbell rang.  Well.  Who on Earth could that be?  I mean.  It was Memorial Day proper so who would show up?  Surely not the mail or UPS.  Since Master was stark naked I had to answer the door.  I don’t have a problem answering the door at all normally, but this was the first time I’d need to answer the door hooked up to my Infusion.  I didn’t really love that, but I stood up and hauled my pole over to the door.  Ya gotta do what you gotta do I guess.  It turned out to be the neighbor kids.

Now, these neighbors are actually really, really nice.  They are super polite and they are super kind.  God fucking bless this child.  I’m not even sure what I would have said if my thirteen year old self had seen me walk up to the door attached to a pole with two huge IV bags attached to it, going to a visible needle in my chest.  The kid looked at the pole, looked at my chest, looked at me, and it only took him about three extra seconds to “steady” himself so he didn’t say the wrong thing.  In fact, he didn’t say anything at all about my pole, but I could tell he was (at first) thrown off.  I don’t even blame him.  It was probably more awkward for me because (as I said) I haven’t had to go to the door like that yet.

So, I tell him hello, and he says:

“Hey, I’ve noticed your yard is kind of messy.  If you guys want, I’ll mow for you for a couple bucks.”

I told him I just needed to get my husband who has the money but I’d be right back.  Seriously.  That kid deserved a medal for not saying a word.  Then, he watched me awkwardly push my IV pole through our way too small house to the bathroom to get Master, who told the kid sure!  Since our mower was in the shop we’d love to hire on his services.  It was actually the best thing ever because our push mower sucks and now the yard looks soo nice.  His little brother came by and pulled up weeds so we tossed him $5 and his three year old brother came by an sat on our steps looking cute, so we gave him a lollipop!  Ha ha.  Ever since then though, all of the surrounding neighbors keep asking us who did our lawn because “they saw some kids over here” and they want to hire them too.  That kid is gonna make bank this summer.  Hire local you guys.  It was the cutest thing we ever did and it meant so much to that kid.  I would say “Plus it keeps them out of trouble” but these children are not the sort to ever get into trouble.  Oh, and his mom has a fidget spinner.  Those things are everywhere.  Everywhere.

After the darling little kids left (and they really were cute, no joke) we went to the store to get a bird feeder and some seed and a couple more little things and that was pretty much our weekend.  Poor Master was feeling really exhausted and not great because his headache kept coming and going.  Still, it wasn’t a total bummer of a weekend, we just tried to take it a bit on the easier side.  I just always feel bad for Master when he gets a headache because you just have to wait for him to come out of them and you can’t do a lot for him up front.  Poor Master.