For about the past few weeks, Master has been enforcing a new rule. I didn’t expect it at all, and it is something that is taking some getting used to. He is giving me a bed time. For a few months now, he has been letting me stay up as late as I liked, and I’ve been staying up nearly as late as him most nights. This is unusual for me, but he hasn’t minded or been bothered by it. I’m not entirely sure why (and there may be no reason at all), but since his work hours have changed (He’s working 6:30am-3:30pm for the next few weeks) he has been putting me to bed early.
It isn’t as though I mind new rules being set up but for some reason, I keep being unhappy with this rule. I have always had this sort of feeling that if I am asleep, I’m missing out on something. It has always affected me, because if I am sick I fight with myself to stay awake, rather than to sleep when my body is fighting off a cold or flu. Logically, I know that I’m not missing anything by going to bed at 10PM, while Master stays up for a few more hours.. But my brain keeps thinking that I am. I want to be awake and able to play with/be with/relax with him.
I haven’t been fighting him or anything like that though. Not verbally or physically. Internally, there is a part of me which is really struggling, but I keep reminding myself of the one thing I learned from retail work (back in the day): “If you don’t like doing something, that means you should probably do it more often.” In other words, I’m not going to get used to or enjoy this new rule until I accept it and sort of “talk myself into it.” I think this is really the first rule Master has given me which I don’t like. I can’t help it – for some reason, it is making me feel left out, and I hate feeling left out. It really shouldn’t be such a big deal though. Going to bed early is good for me. It allows me to get up earlier, it lets me be more well rested, it is good for your health. ::shrugs:: It’s not going anywhere though, I may as well get used to it.