Though I was in much better spirits after talking with J, there was a part of me which ached so badly for the piece of me that went missing for five days. Nothing Master has ever done to me with whips or knives have ever cut me as deeply as his absence.
Before Master left, we made me a plan for what I’d be eating, and went shopping accordingly. I’ve always had a wretched time eating when I am alone. I try, but somehow I always forget, and inevitably get sick. That, coupled with the fact that I need to sprinkle salt on everything in order to stave off a condition I have makes being alone very difficult. I did my best, and most of the time I remembered to eat breakfast and lunch. By the last two days I was starting to see stars when I stood up. I would get very close to blacking out, and I couldn’t figure out why. Silly me. People to need to eat. It’s true. By the time I got to that last day, I was starting to see stars just sitting down, and I kept thinking I was going to black out, and there wasn’t anything I could do about it. (At the time, I hadn’t connected my feeling ill with needing food and more importantly, salt). Right before Master left, he told me that as long as I was still alive when he got home, he’d be happy. He didn’t care if the house was in disrepair, or if I worked or not. Just that I was good for J, and that I was alive.
Most of Thursday was spent laying down, since I wasn’t feeling well. I watched the clock, and Master called me a few times to tell me that his plane was delayed. Then, the plane was re-routed to avoid bad weather. Then, his shuttle was late, and finally, there was a really bad accident on the highway and he was in bumper to bumper traffic for the longest time. When all was said and done, he arrived an hour and a half later than our latest estimates places him.
When I thought his plane was landing, I ran around the house and picked up a couple of things here and there, more straightening really. I had ordered a special piece of lingerie that I knew he’d love, and I went to the bathroom to do my hair and put it on.
Then, I waited.
I waited, and dreamed, and cried with the anticipation and the pain of the waiting. I relaxed a little, and I reminded myself that he would show up as soon as he could. Crying won’t help anyone. I got down on the floor and kneeled staring at the door.
After a time, I heard rolling luggage and the familliar footfalls of my other third. It took every ounce of control I had to stay kneeling and be good. The entire time I kept repeating over in my head:
“Be a good girl, Kitty. Master would want you to be a good girl.”
I heard Master’s key in the lock of the door. I saw it turn. I heard the “click” as he withdrew the key. It seemed to take an hour. Finally the door slowly opened, and as it did I felt the biggest smile ever creep along my face. The door opened, and Master came inside with his luggage.
I had remained in place. Determined to be good, and not to Glomp.
Master knelt down, and my face found his knee. “My kitty!” He exclaimed, as he patted my head and hugged me tightly. Feeling his body against mine again was like being home. It was like being put back together again, in part. There is a part of me that was worried I’d never feel this feeling again. I kneeled up and hugged him tightly.
“I think if you ever leave me again, I might actually die!”
“I know! You’re barely alive now.” (A slight exaggeration. Once I got some food and salt, I was fine).
We kissed. Master complimented my lingerie, and I felt his hands gliding over me and bringing to life all the sore places on my body. I felt at peace. I felt happy. I felt so very grateful.
“Kneel kitty,” Master coaxed me, gently. I did so. “Now, close your eyes and beg for a treat!”
I knew what that meant. I squeezed my eyes shut, and put my head all the way back like this. I started feeling ill again, so Master told me to open my eyes. He had brought me a present! 🙂 He got me a Gryffindor bag clip. Once I figure out which bag I want to put it on, I’ll post a picture. 🙂
After that, we went to bed. Master was feeling ill from his long car ride and his plane ride, and I completely understood. At that point, it was almost midnight, and he had to work in the morning. We crawled into bed, but we didn’t go to sleep for a long while. We laid awake talking to each other, and just being together and telling each other how much we missed being together. Master held me tightly, and we drifted off into a happy, warm, snuggly sleep.