“But That’s Just You Doing Stuff To Yourself!”

Picture 197

Rant incoming! Alert! Alert! Alert! Rant incoming! Get out now, before it’s too late! Rant drop in 3, 2, 1…

Master and me are in a long term relationship. We have been together over ten years, so you can say that we have been together for a while. Not only that, but we have a lot of fun together, regardless of situation. Money, illness, distance, etc, etc, never keep us from having fun. And, sometimes, you know what? Sometimes, Master likes it a whole lot when I do things to myself when he’s not there, and I send him pictures.

Oh, it’s not that I sit around, come up with something to do (say, put clothes pins on my nipples), and just shoot him a picture and send it along. I’m sure I could do that, but I generally find myself too busy with chores, or cam, or my blog, etc to just sit around and think of pictures to send him while he’s working. Not that I think that sort of dynamic is bad, but there are things that Master expects me to get done during the day, and if I don’t do them, it better not be because I was just being lazy or distracting myself. That ain’t cool. Well, it might be cool in your dynamic, but my particular Master would not be appreciative of that sort of thing.

Anyway, in the relatively rare instance that Master wants me to take a picture (and no, it isn’t always sexual. Sometimes he wants a shot of my face, or that day’s lingerie, or maybe he does, indeed, want a shot of genitals, or a picture of some bruises that he has me specially apply. Maybe. You never know), I absolutely drop what I’m doing and take his picture as quickly as I am able. They aren’t always simple. Sometimes, he wants me to put on x,y,z, outfit. Sometimes I need to lace boots or a corset. Sometimes it takes preparation. Each scenario is different. It has sometimes taken me an hour or so to line up a picture properly, depending on the task at hand.

Regardless, for Master and me, it is an exciting thing. Why? Obedience. That’s the occurring theme in our relationship, that many don’t understand. Again, I am absolutely not putting down those who prefer a power struggle to a power exchange. Master and me don’t think our way is better. Our way is just different. For me, there is an absolute sense of duty in the picture. Sure, if he asks me for a picture in my little miss muffet dress, I could easily just not do it and tell him I was too busy. For me though, the thrill is in putting Master above all the other things I need or want to do. For Master, the thrill is in his knowing that if he tells me to do something, then I will absolutely do it.

Picture 198

Sometimes, Master asks me to do something a bit more time consuming. Recently, he asked me to send him a picture of tit torture, and he told me I was allowed to CC a certain playmate of ours on the email. It took me a couple of minutes. First of all, he did not specify what sort of tit torture he wanted me to do. He simply left it up to me to decide how to show my tits being “tortured”. I went to our beating implement bin, and I took out the pink frosting spreader. I knew it would be thuddy and I knew that if I was diligent enough, it would leave some nice bruises on my tits. Master did not say where to leave the bruises, just that he wanted tit torture, so again, he left it up to me. Knowing I have a lot of swim classes coming up, I beat my underboobs to Hell, so that I could easily hide the bruises in my swim suit. Then, I sent Master a quick little note telling him that I was working as fast as possible, but (and if you use a web cam, you will understand), sometimes it takes a little longer to beat my tits hard enough for the bruises to show up on cam. Master said that was great and he was excited for the pictures. J I sent them, and of course he was very happy.

When I tell partners in real life that we sometimes do these little things, they always say things like “But that’s just you doing stuff to yourself!” It’s frustrating. It’s frustrating that in-the-flesh kinksters don’t understand, even if it isn’t their cup of tea. I understand why people enjoy diapering, even though it isn’t a kink that Master and me find sexy. I still get it, and I still respect anyone who uses diapers in their play. Well, for those of you who don’t understand, let me try, (in my own, super wordy way) to break it down.

Beyond the obedience required to do something like that, your body has to overcome your brain. No matter how much I like pain, there is still a part of my brain which holds me back when I am striking myself. My arm will not let me hit myself as hard as I can, simply because my brain is going “Woah now, that’s not a good idea, what are you doing?!” If Master is hitting me himself, there is no part of my brain which can possibly stop him, but alone there is always a slight hesitancy that that I have to convince myself to move past. It does get easier with practice though.

Then, again, there is the fact that Master was the one who wanted this. It is no different (for me) than him wanting me to fetch him a soda out of the fridge. Master told me what he wanted, and it’s up to me to comply. That’s what makes him and me happy, no matter how hard it sometimes can be to fulfill a task. It is the exact same as when he is home.

On the other hand, and on a less kinky note – Master sends me pictures of himself very, very rarely. Every now and then, he will send me a picture on Couple (sort of an IM where only two people chat, no one else, you only have your partner, best friend, etc with access to it), and it will make me the happiest kitty in the world. He doesn’t send dirty pics, and I don’t care what he’s doing. When I get a picture of Master, happy, smiling, missing me, in my Couple app, my face instantly lights up. I love seeing him, even if it isn’t in person. So, even on that level alone, I can understand why it makes him happy when I fulfill his semi long distance requests.

Make sense?