Unwell

From my last blog, you could probably tell I’m not doing so hot.  Anemia on top of POTS is awful, and I’m taking two supplements that have iron in them (one is straight up iron, and one is a multivitamin that contains iron as well, though in a much smaller amount).  I’m trying to get nibbles in of iron rich foods, but with the gastroparesis it makes it very hard.  There are not many foods I can tolerate which contain iron at all, so I am struggling big time. I don’t even do well with most nutrition drinks like Ensure.  I can do OK on a good day with clear Ensure, but I can’t always tolerate it.  It does have some iron in it, but I’m only sipping here and there.

I was actually noticing a bit of progress the other day.  I felt like I was slowly turning a corner, but then when I sat down to sew, I accidentally smashed that mug you see in that Mew.  Yes, it was a beautiful mug with sentimental value so I did shed a couple of tears when it hit the ground.  Still, that wasn’t what destroyed my day.  It’s just a thing, no matter how much I love something, the important thing is that no one cut their foot on any sharp ceramic bits or anything.  I have other mugs.  It’s all good.

No, the thing that destroyed me was trying to clean it up.  It was on the floor, obviously.  I had to bend and stand and bend and stand, and I only got about halfway through cleaning it before I got incredibly lightheaded and had to sit down and rest for almost six hours after that.  I admit, I did not even get back to cleaning the rest of it up, and Master had to do it when he got home.  It made me that fucking ill.  I could barely even sit up on the couch for the first two and a half hours of that, and then I was okay, but only as long as I didn’t do anything strenuous.  Awful.

The thing is, if I didn’t have to do all that bending and standing I would have been fine for the rest of the day probably.  I wouldn’t have done anything crazy, but I would have made it through the day doing my sewing and crocheting and taking it easy when I had to.  POTS is an absolute bitch and it is made worse by everything else going on with me right now.  I can’t wait for this week’s infusion day.

Iron is not a fast-absorbing mineral, either.  Unlike some other things it can take weeks to notice a difference.  Having an ostomy and gastroparesis makes it even harder to absorb though, so I’m worried it’ll take longer to get my numbers back up than the last time I had this problem.  I’m trying though.

I still have a step goal.  I always have a step goal, but I’m not hitting it very often, and I’m not leaving the house for anything other than doctor’s appointments and Infusion right now.  I’m that fucking sick.  It’s really just awful.  I know it has to get better though.  I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow (which will be today by the time this posts) so hopefully that’ll help.

I’m still here.  I’m around.  I’m hanging in there.  Barely.