Archives for 

Gastroparesis

Gumption

What a week.  It has been another tough one.  Poor little Styxxie does seem to be improving a bit from last week for starters thankfully.  The vet has thrown the “ban hammer” of medicines at our poor little furbaby and her sinuses are clearing up nicely.  She wasn’t breathing well at all even with a humidifier and the sounds she was making were scaring us so we’re so glad that she’s sounding loads better at last!  Yay Styx!  <3

Our work load hasn’t really improved much.  We’ve both exhausted.  In truth, Master is doin the brunt of the work load.  I do what I can, but I’m not physically up to spec.  This is a tough upcoming week for me.  I had bloodwork on Sunday and three MRI’s coming up this week Tuesday, Wed, and Thursday morning before work. Two of them with contrast.  I hate contrast.  I guess no one likes contrast.  :/  I’m not looking forward to a day of having to be up in the car for hours after an hour or so in a tiny tube getting contrast.  I’m a complete medical procedure wuss.  I’ll be happy once it’s Friday.

I keep trying to hide all this medical stuff from the Flower Shop and it’s not easy.  I don’t technically work for them, Master does.  I just help Master out as his “co pilot” and the “book keeper” but they keep calling during the week to ask if we can show up earlier.  This is one of those months that’s full of doctor’s appointments.  So far they haven’t asked too many questions, but I think they know something’s not right with me.  They don’t see me lifting anything heavier than a bear with a balloon attached to it, and I’m always pointing the bouquets that are ours out to Master, etc.  Still, the friendlier people get, the more they want to know.  It always comes up eventually and I’m more forthcoming with that stuff online or on my blog than I am in person.  I never talk about myself like that in person, you’d be surprised.  I deflect a lot.  I eat in the car.  I don’t want to explain the gastroparesis.  It’s not like they’ll understand even if I do.  Then it’ll just get awkward, so I try to keep it hidden as best as I can.  They’re not making it easy cutting into our appointment times though.

“Another doctor appointment?!”

“……..yes……….”

On the phone with my MIL the other day, as well as Master’s brother they both said the same thing: we admire your gumption.  Master thought that was a nice thing to say, once we hung up.  I thought it was kind of weird, to be honest.  Not bad, or cruel, or mean, just weird.

They both said that “They admired our gumption to take crappy jobs to pay our mortgage while we were looking for a better job.”

I thought that was just bizarre.  I think we’re doing what anyone in our position would do.  In the past three years we’ve only found short term contract work. We always do whatever it takes to make our mortgage payment.  There have been tears, but we’ve done it.  It hasn’t been easy.  We’ve missed time together.  We don’t get any time off.  Some of our family have called us selfish for not coming home to visit them, but we’re not on vacation, we work hard every day to pay our bills.  It’s not free time.  What is your other option anyway?  Let all your hard work go to waste?  Say good bye to the house you worked hard to buy?  I don’t think so.  Just become homeless?  No thank you.  I’ll take “gumption,”  I guess.  It still seemed weird to me.  I don’t know.

Anyway, I guess I better go get dressed, they called us in early again.  I’ve got some co-piloting to do for Master Pravus again tonight.  Flowers to be delivered, as always.

<3