I know Master just told me to worry more about taking care of myself than keeping up the blog, but it wasn’t my actual intention to stay away from blogging for over a week. I mean, yes, my health is crappy right now, but I am able to type at least a little bit each day for the most part. The reason I haven’t been online is because my Mother In Law came to visit. She had told us at first that she was going to stay in a hotel. She has a really bad ankle and uses a cane to walk, so getting up and down the stairs we have is worse for her than it is for me, and I have a rough time with it. She also mentioned that she had rented a room that had two queen beds. Two. She said that we didn’t need to, but if we wanted to stay in the hotel with her we could. Master said we’d stay Wednesday night because he couldn’t get Thursday off at work, so that way I could hang out with MIL all day. Well, that was fine and well and good, but then when I got up and we were eating our breakfast, she was telling me we may as well stay with her, etc. No one says no to MIL. Well, except for me, but we have an understanding, and this wasn’t really one of those things worth picking a fight over. So, we packed up a luggage (GRUMBLE) and stayed overnight for the rest of the time. Since MIL was constantly around, I was unable to blog at all. Even checking my phone was hard. I mean, I am not one of those people who checks their phone constantly, but I feel like once or twice a day is reasonable. (Though, if I get a beep or something telling me I have a tweet I check more often. And, I guess I tweet a lot, so I’m likely to check Twitter at least once an hour. Lol.) So, naturally, blogging was out.
The visit had mixed good points and bad. Spending time with MIL was fun, and actually enjoyable. The only problem is that she just didn’t understand my limitations. Truthfully, I don’t whine in person as much as I whine here, it’s true. If I feel ill, I’m the type of person who is just going to be silent about it unless things are getting serious. When I was alone with MIL, she kept trying to get me to go on walks with her, or go down to this restaurant or that, and that was hard for me. I can only stand for roughly twenty minutes at a time, and even that is pushing things. My vision goes blurry, and I completely lose my ability to function, talk, walk etc. I’ll just pass out. I can sit longer than I can stand, but I can’t sit forever either. When I was alone with my MIL, I would say things like:
“I need to go upstairs to the room and lay down.”
“I can’t see straight.”
And she would just reply with “Oh, we’re just sitting, you’re fine.” I mean, I know she just doesn’t understand how bad the anemia is, but it wasn’t like I was dancing around the issues. I flat out said I felt really sick. It was just hard. I know that she wasn’t trying to be obnoxious or anything. She just didn’t get it. Of course, I got worse as the week went on. I had an appointment on Friday to see my Chiropractor. Master dropped me off and he went across the parking lot to get snacks at the local farmer’s market while I was getting re-jiggered. I was supposed to walk over (it was only about a five minute walk) when I was done and then meet them there. Of course, shortly after I got in the door and signed in I began losing consciousness. Nice, huh? I didn’t actually black out, but I couldn’t see and was shaking like a leaf. They put me on oxygen until Master got there to pick me up, but it was bad. I shook like a leaf for the rest of the day and I nearly fainted again that night when I was in the tub. After that, I had a minimum of twice a day that I got close to fainting. You can only push yourself so hard before your body goes “Nuh uh, Bitch. You ain’t fuckin’ with me anymore!” It’s just hard. At least my surgery is coming up soon though. I just seriously hope it works or I do not know what I will do.
Health crap aside (because it was an issue the whole time) the actual time with MIL was nice. We chatted about a lot of things. I got the chance to say some things that have been killing me for years, and once I got them out, it was like this huge burden had been lifted from my shoulders. I don’t want to go into the exact things I got off my chest (they are very personal), but I will say it had a lot to do with not being welcomed into the family with open arms when I was introduced. MIL apologized, she explained many things to me, and she told me she loves me, sees me as a daughter, and she was sorry. This is huge to me. The only thing I really ever wanted was a loving, accepting family, and I didn’t have that growing up. I was hoping for it when I married Master, and it hasn’t really ever come together until recently. The entire visit was worth it just for those few moments when we became Mother and Daughter, instead of two opposing forces. I will not lie and say I have been an angel this entire relationship either. Yes, there were faults on both sides, but it just feels good to have those things behind me.
We brought MIL to a couple of local places to see. We drove partway into the Garden of the Gods because there was no walking involved for us. MIL and Master walked around a little bit at scenic areas, but I was too sick and so I stayed in the car. We went to the Zoo and MIL had a blast. She really liked seeing the elephants and polar bear the best. Mostly we just hung around in the hotel watching TV or talking, but it was a nice visit overall.
Easter was nice, too. We had reservations at a local Italian place, because MIL did not want us to cook (probably because she didn’t want to have to get up into our apartment. I don’t blame her though.) It was tasty and I got to dress up in my favorite dress.
So, I was feeling pretty anyway. =^.~= Master was looking quite dashing, and his mother was beautiful. She was dressed in pretty white to celebrate spring. Funny part is that she told us that when FIL was alive, he never celebrated with an Easter Bunny. I guess for them it was always the Easter Pig!! So, she thought it was hilarious that Apple Pig was there, and that the Easter Pig remembered her! It was a cool day. Plus, I mean, spaghetti! Spaghetti is my favorite! On a random note, you can’t see them well in the picture (because I was in the dark hotel room), but I was wearing the coolest socks that day (red zebra) and people were complimenting me everywhere. Luckily, there was nothing else planned for that day so we wound up spending most of it in the hotel relaxing, chatting, watching TV. I’m not a big TV watcher, but I got addicted to this show “Naked and Afraid” while we were in the hotel. Master’s gonna download it for me.
MIL went back Tuesday morning, and I was relieved to get dropped off at the apartment before they went into the airport. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be around MIL, really. I was just completely used up. I crawled into the house, and, though I was supposed to be resting I found myself starting laundry and dishes, and even sewing. I have a hard time sitting still, but it took me a long while to accomplish anything. Still, sleeping in our own bed that night was just awesome. I don’t care if I’m sleeping on a crummy little futon! LOL! It is Master’s crummy little futon, and it has my nippy, bitely little cat in it. He he. I missed that little bugger. <3
So, home now and I’m trying to recover from the trip. I expect it won’t be an overnight process, but it was worth it to see MIL.