Day Zero Progress

And, a fun story!  Let's start out with the progress, because that's always fun.

One of my Day Zero Project goals is to be able to drive without being scared.  It's something I really want to be able to do.  I used to love to drive in fact, but I haven't been the same since the car accident  a couple years ago. I'm just always really scared.  I'm not just scared of accidents, I'm also terrified of cops.  I've been pulled over more than once for things I did not do, and I even got my license suspended for going through a yellow light once.  You read that right, yellow.  I have no luck, sometimes.

Anyway, while we're living at the complex we live at, it is feasible for Master to walk to and from work.  In order to get him exercising more, he decided he might as well take advantage of that before the end of the month, when it'll no longer be possible.  He has not walked on snowy or rainy days though, which makes sense to me.

Yesterday, as I was getting things ready for his arrival at the end of the day, I noticed it was raining and cold outside.  We weren't expecting rain or cold until Wednesday, which is today.  The thought of Master walking all the way home in the cold and rain got to me.  It really, really bothered me.  I felt selfish for even considering allowing him to walk it in.  (I had the car, so really, it was up to me whether or not I was going to help.)  I called Master up on the phone (which I try not to do while he's at work, unless I have to), and took a deep breath, and then asked him if he'd like me to pick him up at the local 7-11 after work so he wouldn't have to walk the whole way.  I actually don't know how to get to his place of work by car, and even if I did, I really, really do not feel ready to drive on the highway alone yet.  7-11 is a five minute drive from the house, or a twenty minute walk, so I figured that was a help.  Master was completely shocked by my call (and I'll admit, so was I!) and he eagerly accepted.

I sat down (I had earned myself about twenty free minutes at that point), and I played Neopets and tried not to think about the drive at all.  I became so emersed that I completely lost track of time, but fortuitously I "woke up" from my Neopets trance at the exact moment I was due to leave to get Master.  Luckily, I had my shoes on.

I got in the car, checked my mirrors, and very shakily drove.  I hated each and every minute of it.  My shoulders were pretty much pinned to my ears the entire time, and I was terribly unhappy about the whole drive.  Each foot of pavement felt like a mile, I swear it took me an hour in my mind to get there.  When I finally got there, I was so excited to see Master that I accidentally drove over the curb a little bit.  Ugh.  The good news is the car is fine, and it was just a little, little bit.  Master started for the passenger side, but giggled when he saw me pick my right leg up and throw it over the middle console of the car.  I did not want to drive home.  When he got in the car, he gave me kisses and told me that I was a good kitty for driving.  I felt horrible about the curb thing, but it was really great that he was so supportive.  I needed it right then for sure.  I definitely need more work before I can drive alone without being scared, but driving alone for however small a trip it was is a step.  I'm proud of myself, but not keen on doing that again soon.

*     *     *

And now, onto a more fun story!  A couple of days ago, Master and me were sort of feeling a bit of burnout from the packing and not spending any money (movers are expensive!), so we decided to get ourselves a treat.  We went to the local mall to get Master an ice cream (I didn't want one), and while we were there, Master decided he was going to get me a pumpkin spice latte.  Pumpkin is my favorite flavor and it's in about everything this time of year.  It was a perfect treat.  On our way to get the coffee and his ice cream, we noticed a yarn display in a regular store window.  Ok, I noticed it.  Master was holding my hand, and I stopped walking to stare at the giant yarn ball, mewing playfully and remarking about how I need a ball that size.  Master and me both giggled.

Master didn't want to cause a scene, so he told me that he'd get the camera ready and when he told me, I should get down on hands and knees to get a picture near the ball.  I thought that sounded fun, and got down on my knees when he told me to.  As we were waiting for Master's camera phone to take the picture, a woman walked past us!  She giggled and said that I was the cutest thing she ever saw.  "A kitty with a giant ball of yarn!" she also remarked "How adorable is that!  Perfect!"  I laughed.  It was too perfect that a complete stranger was even encouraging this display of public silliness.  Awesome.

Things That Being A Kitty Girl Has Taught Me

=^.^=

..In no particular order.

  • It is perfectly acceptable to nap at any point, and you don't need a reason.  Should you feel the urge, any time can be nap time.  Simply find a cozy spot and close your sleepy little eyes.
  • If you see toes wiggle - pounce and bite them!  Your Master really wants you to.  This encourages good mouser techniques and should your hunting skills be required one day, he will lavish you with tummy rubbies and kisses.
  • Be sure to insist to any "real" kitties in your home that they are just "fake" kitties, and pretending.  Let them know you are the real kitty in the house by pushing them out of any cozy spot that they have taken from you.  Fair is fair.
  • If Master takes the vacuum out, it's OK to jump around inconsolably and hiss at it.  It is a monster!  Attack!
  • You're a kitty.  You do not get utensils.  You also do not get to be on the furniture.
  • Good news though!  You get a massive pile of blankets to "nest" in.  Be sure to ignore this "nest" despite all the effort your Master goes through to ensure its comfy-ness.  Confuse him by napping in the middle of the kitchen floor instead.  He likes this, no matter what he says.  Trust me. 
  • If your Master is on the computer, it is important for you to crawl into his lap, and then actually sit or sleep on said computer.  Do not worry about weight limits.  You're just a kitty.  There's no way you could crush a computer.
  • If you Master tries to push you off the computer, stay still and do not budge.  Insist that this is your new napping place.
  • If you are hungry, your best bet is to crawl over to your Master, Mew, and then gently bite down on his leg somewhere.  Don't use actual teeth.  You're trying to show you're hungry, not actually eat him.
  • When Master puts your ears on, you are a kitty.  Kitties have no thumbs.  If you can't open something, carry it in your teeth to him.  You have no thumbs.
  • If Master walks away from his food, even for a split second, it is perfectly acceptable to jump up on the table and start eating it.  Remember, if he walks away, he doesn't want it.
  • If you see a bird, chase it.  It doesn't matter if it is bigger than you, if it's far away, if you're not hungry, if it is a small bird, if the wind is blowing east.  However, if Master himself points out the bird, ignore it.
  • If you're in heat, walk over to Master where he is sitting and rub your pussy in his face.  Then start yowling at the top of your lungs.  He will get the message, and either fuck you, or beat you - calling you a bad kitty.  Either way you win.
  • When you feel like playing games, go bring one of your kitty toys to Master in your teeth.  He will think this is cute, and at the very least, he will give you tummy rubbies.
  • If Master is asleep, it's important to get a good run-and-jump onto his belly.  He'll wake up in total shock, and, if you haven't given him a heart attack, start purring and kissing his chest.  He'll warm up to you.
  • When Master is playing video games or watching TV, it is totally acceptable to crawl over to the entertainment center and rest your paws on it, so that your head is in the way.  Just...  Watch out for the spray bottle of water.
  • It's important to scope out any environment you enter.  Find all the places you can fit.  Can you fit in the dryer?  Under the sink?  In the back of the closet?  Under the desk?  Under the bed? Be creative.  Hide in one of these, and wait for the opportune moment before P-O-U-N-C-I-N-G Master. Red Vinyl Kitty Tip: If you share the house with other kitties, watch where they go.  Save your best spot for frustrating Master.
  • Kitties eat on the floor.  Everything tastes better off of Master's plate.  Conundrum.  Solution!  Knock things off of Master's plate onto the floor.  Bonus: Masters will not want to eat any food that was on the floor, making it yours.
  • Plush mice are just slow, dumb, practise targets.
  • Real kitties bite their Master when he isn't looking.  This reminds Master to pay attention.
  • They also sneak treats from the fridge.  If Master catches you, just look up at him with big, wide eyes and say "Mew?"  Obviously, you couldn't have gotten this treat for yourself, you have no thumbs.  Red Vinyl Kitty Tip:  Since kitties have no thumbs, you can't unwrap any food.  You have to chew it loudly through the wrapper.
  • If your Master leaves you alone in a room where there are presents for you (say, around Christmas or your birthday) then it is perfectly acceptable to try to get them open with your teeth.  Do it quickly though, because the sound of wrapping paper will likely rouse Master from the other room he is in.  Red Vinyl Kitty Tip: Watch out for the water squirt bottle!
  • If Master tells you to "help" with anything, just make sure to get in the way a lot.  For example, if he wants you to help make the bed, crawl up on the bed, and nap.  See #1.  Red Vinyl Kitty Tip: Master will likely cover your head with blankets.  This may panick you.  To counter this, be sure to bite him the minute you are free of the blankets.

And lastly, if your Master removes your kitty ears for any reason whatsoever, you are a slave again.  It is time to get down to business.  Red Vinyl Kitty Tip:  The fact that you can't be a kitty doesn't mean you're not still required to meow and purr all the time.

Disclaimer: This list was written for entertainment purposes only, and the scenarios above do not in any way mean that this way is the only way.  I hope you had a couple of laughs, because this was very fun to write! 

Those Crazy Pool People ^^

Yesterday Master and me decided to go to the pool after dinner.  I hurt my knee somehow doing an aerobics tape I *ALWAYS* do, and Master pulled a groin muscle last saturday while swimming, so neither of us have been exercizing on our injuries.  We have just been going to the pool to relax in the hot tub.

Anyway, one of our pool buddies, we'll call him "N" threw a tennis ball at me.  At first, it looked so small, I wasn't sure what he was throwing at me.  It landed next to me in the pool, and he looked at me and said "That's what the cats play with."

I giggled.

We were so excited about this tiny tennis ball that squeaked, that we couldn't resist heading over to the big pool to throw it around a bit.  Usually, I don't play catch with the guys in the pool because they throw a big honking football around.  It always causes splashes, and chlorine + contact lenses = owe.  I think we spent a good amount of time just throwing that ball around before N came back to say:

"I KNEW you'd like that ball."

Master and me both laughed.  I think the pool folk are really starting to "get" me.  ^^

"Wet Cat Does Not Like Wet"

I do NOT like jumping in the pool.  It's something I haven't done in a few years.  Truth be told, I don't like getting my head wet either, and always swim with my head above water.  Yesterday Master thought I could jump in, and I did!  I probably won't do it again (unless Master tells me to).  I didn't like it!  Lol.  Here's a video of the whole shenanigan.

Also, if you read this blog, you know I don't go into explicit detail about our actual sex or "scenes".  I do like to share when we do something new or Master comes up with a new contraption.  New contraption ahoy!  Lol

Hitachi magic wand, 6 feet of hemp rope, and a blankie and pillow. He he he. Guess where *I* went?

 

Lol!  Let's just say we had a lot of fun with this contraption, among other things last night.  ^^

Mew mew!

Last night, we went out to the pool like we always do, and there were three people drinking beers in the hot tub.  After our swim, Master and me always chill out in the hot tub, and we got to chatting with the drunken people.  They complimented my cat ears, told me they loved them.  I don't care if people are drunk or not, it's always nice when people you don't know complement your ears.  ^^

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