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According To Plan

We’re on a much tighter schedule now than we usually are when Master is working.  There are things that we have to get done every single day, in a certain order and Master figures these things out first thing in the morning.  Every day is packed full, whether we have to go to an appointment, pick up this or that, spend time working, looking for work, etc, etc.  There’s just always something we need to be doing, and we’re so much busier than we are when Master is at work.

Try as we might though, our plans always get fouled up.  It isn’t that we don’t get a bit of everything done, but it seems like we’re always running into snags.  For example, maybe I have a full seven hour block to go on cam, but I lose my stamina after three hours.  Or, maybe we go to three stores looking for an item we really need, and thus lose a bunch of time we could have been at home either spending time together or working, plus, needing to go back out the next day just to find the item, still!  Maybe I trip in a pothole and sublux something, or wake up with a dislocation.  It’s all the little things that you aren’t planning on that just put a monkey wrench in your day and make things feel impossible.

It’s frustrating to say the least.  It’s not that we don’t expect things to go wrong from time to time, but it seems like almost every single day there is something that can’t get done for whatever reason.  I had a realization the other day though.  It was one of those silly things that I probably should have figured out years ago, but it only hit me recently: it’s okay.

It’s okay!  It doesn’t really matter if we lose an hour here or there or if we fail to find whatever and need to try again tomorrow.  I’m going to dislocate and sublux, and we can’t predict when that will happen.  There are so many things that are stressing us both out right now, and the little things like that just don’t make any difference.  They don’t matter!  So what if there’s an extra two or three stops we have to make the next day.  The important thing is that we’re making the effort, and that tomorrow really is another day.  We haven’t given up trying, and even though those little things can be really frustrating now, none of them really matter.  It’s okay.  I’m okay.  We’re okay.

Crazy how long it takes some of us to learn these things.

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