Just some ranting. Look away, seriously. ;)

I’ve had something on my mind that is just bugging the crap out of me.  It’s this question people ask me all the time.  Doesn’t matter who I am talking to, somehow or other it always comes up.  The dreaded question is either:

A: “Does your Master know you do that?”

or B: “And how does your Master feel about you doing that?”

These questions are nearly always asked about my work online in my video chat room.  Sometimes about other things, but mainly this.  Look, I know a lot of people consider watching porn, or playing online, to be cheating..  But not me OR Master.  I’ve talked to him a LOT about this, especially in the beginning.  If he didn’t want me to do it, I wouldn’t.  Plain and simple.  Thing is, at the end of the day, the people I play with in my chat room – I don’t play with anywhere else ever.

I don’t meet people in real life.  I don’t play with them on yahoo or skype, or anything else.  What I do is to provide a fantasy for someone for a little while, and then I go back to life.  It’s fun, but I don’t develop relationships with these people.

I asked Master recently something which was bugging me.  I asked him what would happen if I somehow (never going to happen) was on the news or something, and his family or co-workers found out what I did.  Would he be ashamed?  Would he be embarrassed?  I knew what the answer was, but I had to hear him say it.

You know what he said?  He laughed at the question, and told me if word got out, he would just be proud.  I make a lot better money from my futon in my work room than I would by taking a train into town and cashiering for a couple hours a day.  At no other job have I been able to work comfortably in my house wearing lingerie, and taking breaks when I want.  I’ve never worked at any other job where I could set my own hours.

I don’t mean to get angry and frustrated here, but come on?  Do you honestly think I would do something if Master didn’t approve of it?  How could I keep it going?  I have a public page online, for goodness sakes.  Not only that, but this isn’t just about him being my Master.  He is also my husband. We are married.  Marrying a person sort of implies that they approve of you.

Basically what I am trying to get out, is that OUR morals are different then your average person’s.  I get that.  I LIKE being this way.  But don’t go asking me a question like that, when you must know what the answer is.  Do you really think that I am hiding this behind his back?

Sorry for the angry post, it’s just something that I had to get off my chest.

And OMG, the trampoline is so fun!  ^^  I have to wear a scarf when I’m bouncing on it though, because the metal collar bounces on my collar bones and bruises the hell out of my neck.  lol.  🙂  Still, even Master was having fun with it!  =^.^=

12 thoughts on “Just some ranting. Look away, seriously. ;)

  1. Mew mew you tell 'em babydoll!

    Personally, I think it's very intrusive and presumptive to ask things like that. If nothing else, what business is it of there's who's approval you do and don't have? It's your life, and thus you are the one to reap the benefits and cope with the consequences.


    1. Thanks, Jessie. That's exactly how I feel. It's just so frustrating to me, and I just had to make a long boring post about it to get it out. *laughs* Now.. Got any more of thoes cookies you made the other day? Mmmm. lol! 😉

  2. Great rant. I have to admit, when I first learned about your job my thought was 'wow, her Master is really confident. How cool' Weird thought I realize but at least it is out there.
    I thought about doing phone work about 10 years ago when I first started to get really sick. I couldn't even get that off the ground but I didn't have a mentor either. It's hard work and seems to take confidence and strong boundaries. (Stuff I sure didn't have ten years ago.)
    Work is different than social. I don't tend to get jealous of the characters in the fiction Master writes. It seems like people are accusing you of being incapable of being professional. I'd sure rant about that.

    1. Thanks Lada. I think part of what I love about this job, is the ability to set my own hours. I'm not quite so sick now, but I spent about 6 or 7 months of last years sick with kidney stones. I don't think there are many jobs who would have tolerated that. Sorry to hear about your illnesses, I've checked out your blog, and from what I've read it looks like you have a hard time. *hug*

      1. Thanks for the hug and for checking out my blog. It can be hard but we make the most of it.
        I’m glad you’re over the kidney stones. I’ve heard those are awful.
        BTW, I might be able to help with learning to use crochet patterns if you ever find one want to make. (As long as it isn’t charted/filet crochet. I can’t do those.)

  3. Aww, I'm so so sorry you even had to write this! That's what I hated about having a blog about my submissiveness. I needed a place to get my feelings out in the beginning, get some mentoring and support since all my friends are vanilla, but in the end there was just so much negativity and judgment if anything I said/did was something my readers wouldn't do. I met some really great people, but mostly there was a lot of negativeness, and I don;t understand where it comes from. It just makes me sick to my stomach. I just don't understand people sometimes.

    I hope you have not let it get to you too much. I thought the same thing as Lada when I heard of your job. I sometimes wish I had the guts 😉

    You are seriously a submissive that I look up to the most, because it just seems like *everything* you do is for your Master. I don't know, it;s just like love radiates from you. And if people don't understand that, screw 'em 🙂 I always say, if you don't pay my bills or hold my leash, you get no say!

    1. Thanks Shii! 🙂 Oh, I don't let them get to me *too* much. I think it's mainly a nuisance to me. Sometimes I just wanna rant a smidge and get out my annoyance instead of politely smilling and saying "screw you" in the nicest way possible. At the end of the day, I want to write about our lives to help break some of the stereotypes and misconceptions of what a BDSM relationship is, because I think people in general only have any idea from watching porn.. And porn is NOT a good example. lol. Oh, and I love this: "If you don't pay my bills or hold my leash, you get no say" That was cute as hell. :))

  4. To me, your job rocks! I mean come on, you get paid for doing something you love to do. How many people these days get to say that? And as far as people asking about things with you and your hubby's relationship, what's it their business? I tell you, how many people can say they love their job, and their marriage both? Not freaking many! You rock!!

    1. Thanks Thomas! 🙂 I seriously love my job, of course it has it's good days and bad, but there are far too many good days for the bad ones to stick out too much. ^^

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