Whinge

PCOS.  My doctor was worried that I had it last week, mainly because I have a lot of cysts in my ovaries, and my periods can be a tad irregular.  Nothing too crazy though.  Sometimes I’ll get an extra one here or there, but I don’t normally skip them.  Anyway, because of the amount of cysts I’ve had over the last year and a half or so, my doctor decided to do blood work.  The blood work shows that I have PCOS.

Honestly, I knew it was a possibility, but I was hoping it was not.  I don’t have weight gain (my doctor said my weight was great), acne, insulin resistance, or a plethora of other nasty symptoms which are painful or just not fun.  The doctor said that normally, the first thing they try in patients is to get them to exercise and eat more fruits and veggies, but since I’ve already been jogging an hour a day 6 days a week, and eating PLENTY of veggies she figures that I’m one of those unlucky people who have this syndrome because of genetics instead of poor habits.

That is incredibly discouraging.  You can eat right, exercise, do everything right, and STILL get sick.  The doctor on the phone was telling me that more than half of the people diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome wind up with one or more of the following: diabetes, heart attack, stroke, sleep apnea and high blood pressure.  To me, that is scary.  Really scary.  It makes me want to throw up my hands and say “why bother?”  What good does all this healthy eating and exercise do if I am just going to be at a much higher risk for this stuff than your average person without PCOS.

I called my mom and talked to her.  She made me feel a little better, but she also made me a bit frustrated in her own momish way.  (Love you anyway, Mom!)  Usually she talks me down, and then she gets all “Plus, you don’t really have a right to be upset.  There are people WAAY worse off than you out there in the world.”  Yeah, that’s true.  There are people without limbs, and people with terminal cancer, and people who are crippled, etc etc.  But I don’t think that should diminish my pain.  I don’t think it makes my frustration any less real.  And mostly, I don’t see why I shouldn’t get an hour or two to feel however I need to feel before I move on and try to fix this.  Of course I’m not really going to give up trying to be the healthiest I can be.  I just think I needed that hour to be upset, and get my frustrations out of my system.  *le sigh*