Just de-cluttering my head some.

I’ve been putting off writing about this, actually though, I think it is what is keeping me from writing blog entries at all lately.  I know I’ve been a little lax this past week, and honestly, it’s because I have a lot on my mind.  Lately, I feel so distanced and unimportant to my family, back in MA.

They spend all this time wanting me to call them, and I always make time for my family.  I try to call my mom at least two or three times per week because I KNOW she has nobody to talk to, seeing as how my dad has Aphasia.  I love talking to my mom, but lately, it doesn’t matter if I have things I want to talk to her about or not.  She sounds so distant and when I ask her what she’s doing she generally will say something like “Oh, watching TV.”  Or “Playing Tetris.”  Why call, or answer the phone if you’re not interested in talking?  And then, why would you go out of your way to be snarky towards me if I choose to then not call you for a few days until I think you are in the mood to talk?

And my brother is a whole other story.  He is going to school part time right now, and working an internship.  He claims he is just waay too busy to call anyone, since he works and goes to school.  Excuse me?  I cannot believe my parents swallow that load of horse shit all the time.  I went to school thirty hours per week, plus worked two jobs (one of the jobs a secretary position outside the house, and the other my adult caming on the weekends) at the same time, and I always found ten minutes every couple of weeks to call and just check in.  I’m not asking you to stay on the phone for an hour with me, but I don’t see why we can’t chat once or twice a month.  I think what bothers me so much is the flat out insinuation that he is the only person in the whole world with responsibilities.  He expects everyone to be available on a whim, and that, if we aren’t available when he calls, we simply must be avoiding him.  I’m not avoiding my brother.  We’ve been playing phone tag all week because honestly, we are in two different time zones, and by the time he gets home I am getting ready for bed time or at the pool.  We don’t generally bring our phone out to the pool.  I decided to stop trying to call him and wait for the weekend when I know we are both more likely to be able to get on the phone at a reasonable time, but instead of that being seen as me trying to make the effort – I’ve gotten two emails which are basically guilt trips about how I am on purpose not picking up the phone.  Mind you, if he calls me when I’m filming or at work, I’m not going to hear it because I turn the phone ringer volume completely off.  I may have a slightly off-beat job, but I still work and have responsibilities.

And it is more than that.  My mother has somehow decided to side with my brother on this.  She thinks I am avoiding him too, claiming he told her that he called me ten times on my birthday.  Well, why did we only get two calls then?  The other eight calls mysteriously evaporated?  When I tried to call him back he didn’t pick up.  So, now not only am I the bad child, but my mom is ganging up on me to call him.  I have definitely tried to call him back multiple times, but I really think calling someone for something not life threatening more than once or twice in twenty four hours is a bit excessive.  When they have time, they will call me back.  There is no reason to keep harassing them.  Ugh.  Hate.  My.  Life.  Sometimes.

Sorry for the whine and rant, but I just needed to get that off my (huge) chest.  Heh.  These D cups weren’t meant to hold that much stress. ^.~

Master and me have been frequenting the pool nearly every day since it opened.  We have missed a few days because of thunderstorms, but it is always better safe than sorry.  The pool has been a great new way to get exercise, because I was starting to get a bit bored with our walks.  Not that I don’t like them, but it is always good to change things up now and then.  The biggest thing holding me back in the pool is my wrist.  About two years ago, I injured a nerve in my wrist doing yoga.  Yeah, it was really, really stupid too.  Instead of taking care of it, I had to use it at massage school, and I really messed it up.  Since moving, my wrist has become a Hell of a lot better, but it is not 100% back to where it used to be yet.  All the packing and box lifting really helped me to give it some cheap “physical therapy”, which has really helped me out.  It is still going to be a while I think before I can do things like crawl around on the ground on my hand instead of my fist, or do yoga positions which require leaning on my hands like down dog.  A shame really.  I think the pool is going to help my wrist in the long term, but for now, when it starts to get achy I have to stop and get out of the pool.  I know it is helping to strengthen my wrist immensely, but I can’t get a consistent long swim yet.  After maybe twenty or thirty minutes my wrist is done.  The good news is that I have yet to have my wrist be sore the following day yet.  I know it’ll take time, but it’s all good.  Slow and steady wins the race every time, I think.

Lately, Master has gotten into this whole “Pamper the Kitteh” phase.  Lol!  Every night this past week, when it is getting near bed time, he has me come kneel in front of him and brushes my fur, rubs my paws, and gives me kisses and love for a bit.  It’s really nice I think, but also kind of awkward for me because it makes me feel like he is servicing me.  I know that’s not really the case.  He does these things for his other kitties all the time, I’m not asking for it, I’m not topping from the bottom.  I’m just being a good little kitty who is doing what she is told.  He likes to comb my fur.  He enjoys rubbing my paws.  (We call it “Paw Wubbies” lol!)  He likes treating me like a real animal, and a real animal needs grooming from time to time.  (Although, I do still throw a slight hissy fit when he is cleaning my ears.  But then, so does Samantha!  lol!)

Mew mew.