My jaw tightens against (AFF) bright red ball

Drool pooling in humiliating drips

Tied immovably

Chest tightening – not with pain

With loss.

My stomach is invisible to me

as sharp metal spikes I can’t see spank my flesh

I can’t feel the welts or blood.

I am floating..


I am free.

You pull me back and tears flow.

One drop

Two drops


I can’t gasp through my gag, but I breathe heavily,

Fighting the tears

Struggling for air

The sting on pained thighs breathes comfort to me.


“Let it out.”


I can’t hold back any longer.

And I’m falling…




Your hand caresses the tears out of me, with each sharp blow

Untraditional, but soothing.

This is right.


You wrap me in your love

Hold me in your heart


And, I am joy.


Tomorrow will be different.

Tomorrow I will hold my head higher

My stride steadier

My heart fuller

Within my terror I find myself.

Within your grasp, I am only enhanced.

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