I’ll Let You Talk To Your Husband

The other day I was due to go to PT, when I got a phone call from the nice receptionist to inform us we had a balance.

Er, what?

Turns out, through some bullshit insurance loophole, our insurance doesn’t like to pay for TMJ stuff. (There is still some debate in the insurance world as to whether TMJ problems are medical or dental, even though most dentists don’t know shit about it.)

ANYWAY! That sucks, but we only went for three visits so far, so it also wasn’t the end of the world. It would have been much, much worse had I been going in twice a week, etc. The woman on the phone did something that almost no one does. Instead of asking me for a credit card up front, or asking me what I wanted to do, she told me:

“Well, I’ll let you talk to your husband, and once he decides what to do, he or you can let me know.”


It’s funny to me, because I agreed, and hung up the phone – but – no one ever treats me like that. (Much though I wish they would). Most people expect me to give them a credit card over the phone (which we don’t do, anyway), or to tell them the plan. I can’t be sure that this woman understood Master and my dynamic, but she did seem pretty good (in person) at picking up on social cues like that. (I mean, I never carry money, Master always pays, etc). It’s just nice when someone sees something, and maybe they don’t understand it fully – but they still treat you with respect. That’s all I want. Respect. If I tell you I need to talk to my husband first, then you should respect that, and not go on and on about how I need to make my own decisions. I wouldn’t mind if this happened to me a bit more often, but I won’t hold my breath. =^^=

14 thoughts on “I’ll Let You Talk To Your Husband

  1. My sister always says that I shouldn’t have to ask Master for money and that I shouldn’t have to feel guilty for it. But I just explain to her that we work differently than her and her partner. The dentist we go to knows that Master pays for all my dental work (which is a lot of dental work due to my cleft pallet). They are always nice to give him or me a ruff estimate of how much my appointments will cost. They are the only ones that do that though. Master is getting a pay rise soon haha when he told me he said “You can go to the dentist next month”. I wanted to run and hide πŸ™‚

    1. @MomoNoHanna Aww, lol. I hate the dentist. Master and me are a little different than some in that, I do make money. The difference is I give it to Master and he decides what to do with it. Sometimes I get an allowance though. πŸ™‚

      1. We have a different system, if i am working (I do contract work atm) Master decides on how much I pay him according to what I earn. By paying him I mean what I give him to help pay the bills. But he pays for my medicals, the bills are all in his name and I usually pay for the groceries. He earns considerably more than I do so I guess what I earn is kinda of an allowance? But when I am not working (which is currently) he gives me a weekly allowance to spend on groceries ect… and he lets me know if we have the budget for extra little things πŸ™‚

        1. @MomoNoHanna Yeah, Master and me are married so I give him all my money. (Not sure if you’re married or not, not that it matters, everyone does things different). He pays for everything I need, and when I am good he lets me have a small allowance. I definitely do not suffer. πŸ™‚

          1. We are married to πŸ™‚ Will be our 3rd year anniversary in May πŸ™‚ Been together for 8 years in total next month πŸ™‚ When I am not working I get a allowance that I have to use for groceries, kitty food/kitty litter (we have 2 kitties) and if I have enough I can use what ever is left to cover my transport cost (we us public transport only) and go out πŸ™‚ I don’t suffer either πŸ™‚ sounds like we both have great Masters!

          2. @MomoNoHanna We have been chatting via this blog for a long while, and via YouTube for even longer. I think I can safely say that yep – we both have GREAT Masters. =^^=

    1. @Mrs Teepot Yes, they are all too rare in this day and age if you ask me. (Gawd, is that something old people say? Maybe I’m getting old. Now, if I could just get those kids offa my lawn!)

  2. Kitty, I can totally relate. When I’m home during the day we get repeated calls from the cable company, the phone company, people selling crap (even though we’re supposed to be on the No Call List) etc. I always tell them, “I don’t make the financial or non-child related decisions in our house, my husband does.” Then they get pissed off because he isn’t home…… at 11:00 in the morning! HELLO he has a full time, day time job! Or, they just flat out don’t believe me, that I don’t make those decisions, and, yes, as you said, want a credit card number and they don’t GET it.

    A guy from our cable company was calling 2 and 3 times a day, and I kept telling him, “I don’t make the decisions.” He kept bugging me about The Man calling him and My Man is busy, we don’t want any more cable, (basic is fine) or a cable phone or anything else. He doesn’t have time, when he gets home after 10 hours of work to call the cable jerk back. Then The Cable Guy got rude….ruder…. more rude and hung up on me. He had the nerve to call AGAIN that evening, and My Man is just sitting there, while this guy give him his schpiel, and The Man is rolling his eyes, and pointing at the phone and I KNEW it was that cable guy again. My Man asked for something in the mail so he could read it before making any decisions… they don’t do that! He wanted My Man to just sign up for who knows what. The Man shut him down and he hasn’t called back since.

    It’s nice when someone gets it.

    Why then, when we’re in a store together, and he pays cash does the cashier always give the change to me? LOL!

    1. @P’Gell I have run into that situation too many times to tell you! In fact, one time I point blank told someone I was going to hang up, and that Master would call when he was out of work. The guy on the phone proceeded to tell me how selfish I was, and that he knew Master wouldn’t call back! Pssh. So ridiculous. The crazy part is? We DID call back, and were told that guy was “no longer with the company”. Hmmm, I wonder why?!

      1. Yeah, I think the turnover in jobs like those are pretty high.

        In the same vein, just the other day, in the middle of the day, two women came to the house (I thought they were Jehovah Witnesses and freaked out) but they started by asking me (but not waiting for an answer) “Are you the bill payer of the house?” I said, “No, my husband takes care of most of the bills.” (I pay my two personal credit cards, mostly stuff for my part time nursing job, but he takes care of everything else.)

        They just kept talking, I tried to nicely say, “Um, I said, I don’t take care of the bills, and my husband isn’t here and I doubt he’s interested.” One of the women got rude and yelled, “I’m TRYING to save YOU some money!” and I started to get upset (I don’t like being yelled at) and said, “Please listen to me, I-don’t-pay-the- bills!” I was starting to get really upset, and she kept talking. So, I said as nicely as I could, “I’m going to shut the door now.” So, I did.

        I found out on the news a few days later, that some scammers are going door to door in Chicago, trying to get people signed up for this “alternative” power company, and it’s ALL a scam! They take your money and you still owe Com Ed their money! And evidently they came to MY house and I got rid of them, without even knowing I was doing the right thing.

        I told My Man and he was very happy that he didn’t have to deal with them and that I got rid of scammers on my own. I hope none of my neighbors got sucked in.

        Y’know, 30 years ago, or so nobody would have blinked if someone (well, a woman) told someone selling something, “I don’t pay the bills.” or “I have to get my husband’s permission before I spend the money.” But, today people don’t get it.

        It is nice to know others have dealt with the same thing, though. Although, I hate to see you upset, too.


        1. @P’Gell Oh man. How RUDE of those women to keep talking when you clearly weren’t interested. On the one hand, I feel bad for them because I am sure they don’t have an easy job – but on the other hand, they are wasting both your time and theirs by being rude and talking over you. πŸ™ Ugh.

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