“I AM AN OGRE!”

Buying a house is a pain in the rear.  This isn’t our first time going through the process, I mean, it was pretty much the same when we were buying our condo way back in the day.  In those days it was a bit easier though, because we were buying the condo from family, and so while it was still tough it was do-able.

This guy we’re buying the house from?  He only speaks Greek.  Seriously.  We have to wait until his daughter gets home from work every day to translate for him, and it has been..  Challenging.  Thing is, we’re being really good about all of this, but this guy was determined to be a problem from the get-go.  The day we signed our bid and set up the house inspection, “Mr. Grumpy” informed us:

“I’m not doing any work on that house at all!  I’ve done what I’m going to do to it!  I AM AN OGRE!”

Okay.  I added in the ogre bit for dramatic effect, but he did say he refused to do anything else to the house.  We already know up front about a couple of very minor things, and we’ve completely agreed to fix them ourselves.  The roof though?  Well, our loan will not go through if the roof stands thusly.  We have been told it is on its “last legs” and “no way it will last five years.”  Seller refused to get the roof certified (likely because he knew that was next to impossible), and so we went back and fourth for a while because he just wanted us to buy the house as is.

Even if the bank would let us do that (they won’t), there is no way we’re okay with that.  We’re moving in October 6th, and that means snow is just around the corner.  We’d like the snow to stay outside, but that’s only because we’re grumpy ogres like that.  (Turn about is fair play, I guess.)  It has been a long and stressful few weeks but we finally got this guy to agree to put the roof on.  The real kicker is that we are the ones paying for said roof, and yet we have to beg this guy.  For Pete’s Sake!  For a couple days there, Mr. Grumpy was telling us he was sure that as soon as he got the roof put on we would look for another house.  ::Huffy puffy noises::  Are you kidding us?  I mean, Master and me already have the porch swing picked out in our brains, and we’re planning where to put the water barrels and which side of the yard is going to get the berries!  We’re a young couple who is excited to get our first home together.

Master actually said to the real estate agent that we’d be happy to take them out for coffee so they know we’re serious and they can meet us and chat.  That’s when we found out Mr. Grumpy doesn’t speak a word of English.  At least we tried.

So yes.  The closing date has been moved forward from the tenth of October to the fifth.  This is actually good because the sooner we can get all this done and over with, the better.  We know we have to move, so we’re just trying to do the best we can and get through it, you know?