The Tiles Were So Small

Things have been tough over the last few weeks.  With Master starting his new job, it hasn’t been easy.  From a financial perspective, I’m still living with an expensive and problematic illness, and I still need medical care that we can’t quite afford yet (nothing life threatening, though).  There are other bills, of course, and there’s food and such that anyone needs.  Still, with amazing insurance on the way, Master and me were just trying to hold down the fort until his first check cleared.  As of today, that check still hasn’t cleared and won’t even clear until tomorrow.  They made us have a paper check (no direct deposit for your first check) and on top of that it took an extra week to get us the first one.  That’s pretty typical of pretty much any new job, but it doesn’t make it more convenient.

Yesterday I woke up, and I was slowly getting the day started.  It wasn’t going well.  I mean, nothing amazingly bad happened, but I was having a rough day physically and one thing after another just lead to a longer more difficult morning.  I was still pushing through though because, after all, Master would be disappointed if I wasn’t giving it my best.  Not giving my best is never an option.

After my shower, I got a phone call from Master.  I wasn’t near the phone so I missed his call and had to call him right back.  I figured that, maybe he just was coming home on his lunch break to surprise me or something.  He has done that twice so far, and before you ask, when I am alone I do have trouble getting dressed before one or so in the afternoon.  It is what it is.  When Master answered the phone, I could tell something was very wrong.  I was terrified that maybe someone back home died or something, like his Mom.  I was just so scared, but, nobody died.  (Thank goodness).

“Kitty?  I lost my job.”

I just couldn’t believe it.  Here we were, so close to pulling ourselves back up by our bootstraps.  All that medical security, the perfect hours, the fact that Master Pravus absolutely loved the job he was at and that everyone there loved him back.  The fact that this would be the absolute perfect environment for him to grow in.  The higher wages.  The closer commute.  All of it was just gone.

I think I forgot how to breathe for a little bit because I didn’t even reply.  I couldn’t.  I couldn’t think of what to say.  I stared at the giant ten inch tiles on the bathroom floor.  They looked a lot smaller than I remembered them looking.  I started to shake.  After what was the longest minute I have ever been through I think I managed a:


He explained that his drug test came back positive for speed and opiates.  We already knew that, but Master had gone to his doctor and gotten medical records proving that the false positives were from medicine he was prescribed and had been taking for conditions he has had for five plus years.  He does not now nor has he ever taken pain medicine (other than the random pill for a severe injury here and there, nothing long term), and the medicines he takes are for really generic conditions that many people have.  We were told that if he got a doctor’s note explaining that he didn’t start taking these to get out of any drug tests that he would be fine and his company would be okay with it.  We got the documentation.  Apparently, though, Master’s boss and his team were all fine with it, but the parent company that owns the new company he just got hired at was not fine with it.  They terminated him immediately, didn’t give him any kind of severance (though, he hadn’t even been there for a month yet so expecting one would be silly), and escorted him out of the building.  That was it, game over, no chances.

All of this happened yesterday, and today Master has been on the phone with everyone he could think of.  He’s filing for any type of help we might even remotely qualify for, he’s looking into food pantries in our new city, he even called three lawyers because he is absolutely sure he is being discriminated against, but they all said the same thing: Colorado is an “At will” state.  Employers can fire you simply because you wore a blue shirt, and you have no recourse.  That’s it, nothing to be done.

We’re not sure he’s going to even qualify for unemployment now, but we’re doing everything in our power to get any assistance possible.  With all the severance used up from his lay off back in September, we feel like sitting ducks.  I’m the only one with any job, again, which is scary as my Mewtique and my cam stuff were just a way for me to help us save for vacations in the beginning.  It’s terrifying.  We only just got this house, and we are terrified to lose it and have nowhere to go.  We’re online looking for focus groups, and I’m sewing, crocheting, or camming whenever I possibly can.  My physical ability was improving, but I am never going to be able to come up with mortgage and bill payments right now.  I mean, I’m just too sickly to work for long periods.  Terror is setting in, and we just both cannot believe that all of this is happening so soon after we already got through a major event.  And I know it is only a minor thing, but, Xmas is in a few short weeks.  We already knew we would not get to do presents this year, which we didn’t care about.  Honestly though?  Now I’m scared we will be in the cold in the dark with no food.  I know it won’t be that dramatic, but it’s scary, and right now I’m not feeling particularly optimistic.  It’s hard.

In the past three weeks our hearts were just so high and we were feeling like we were really getting there and we could really start relaxing and getting to a place where we could be happy.  Now, our hearts and thoughts are lower than low and the tiles just seem so much smaller than I ever remember them being.

It’s said that when a door closes, another one opens.  I just sincerely hope that there is something even better out there for Master Pravus and me.

20 thoughts on “The Tiles Were So Small

  1. Sending many positive thoughts your way to the both of you!! So sorry that this happened, but I do believe that there is something even better that is meant to be. HUGS!! And remember when you feel that you’re at the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on!!

  2. Master Pravus and kitty this slave is sorry to hear about all the trouble. Dont worry everything will be ok. Master Robert and i have been through that before. Everything will work out. If you would be willing to accept donations i could ask Master Robert if we could help. I have $20 saved from all my allowance and would be happy to send it to Master Pravus and kitty as long as Master Robert approves first. He has to approve everything. This might sound crazy but what about welfare/foodstamps/cash assistance? Master Robert had to get welfare when he lost his job. Try to have a good day 🙂

    1. That is so sweet of you @house slave jessie. <3 My Master approves everything I spend my allowances on too and I know how long it can take to save up so I appreciate the gesture. Master Pravus has paypal I could give you, but please don’t feel you have to. Emotional support is very much appreciated right now and your kind comment means a whole lot. ::hugs::

      Yesterday Master was on the phone with lots of different places signing up for every kind of assistance we may qualify for from heat, to food, etc so hopefully something turns up soon.

      A happy holiday season to you and your Master.


      1. Aww thank you so much kitty Master Robert has allowed me to speak anyway i want to your message wich i am excited about because i dont normally get to talk the way i want to. I dont know if Master Pravus is like that. Master Robert wont allow me to send my allowance to you 🙁 he says that i worked hard to earn it and that i shouldn’t worry so much. He knows your Master will take care of you. I mean thats what Masters are for. To keep us on the straight and narrow. Oh and just so you know Master Robert started my kitty training and he says that i make a better kittygirl than a ponygirl sometimes. Some pony steps are hard for me to get and i usually end up with the cane across my ass or the hole…latly it has been the cane. Master Robert hopes to cure me of my disobedient feet when it comes to pony steps. just out of curiosity does Master Pravus own just you kitty or are there other slaves? the reason i ask is because Master Robert owns me plus another girl and she sleeps in Masters bed not on the floor like me…which i dont understand. Now i know i should be talking to Master about this i just want to know what Master Pravus and you think about it. Anyway this is long enough and i dont want to bore Master Pravus and you. Thank you for your time,blog and kitty ears. Master Pravus and kitty our in our thoughts and prayers.

        1. @house slave jessie. Don’t worry about your allowance. Like I said earlier, emotional support is so much more important to me right now than money. <3

          Pony steps ARE hard! 🙂 I used to be pretty good at them but now I’m having a tougher time with them due to physical stuff. Still, I enjoy getting stronger slowly and working on them. Master always uses a crop when we do pony play. It feels more like it fits. Though we use canes a lot for other stuff! =^^=

          At this time I am the only slave Master Pravus owns. We do play with other people from time to time but he hasn’t given anyone a collar or taken them on for training outside of some light play.

          As far as the other girl sleeping in his bed, I don’t know. If that is the way your Master prefers it then I would just try to respect his wishes though I know it might be hard. There could be a lot of reasons she sleeps in his bed instead of you. Maybe he has intentions of training her to sleep on the floor, maybe it is an issue of space, maybe he wants to be sure you two don’t mingle. It’s hard to know why. When I was first under consideration with Master Pravus I was surprised that he didn’t want me to sleep on the floor because that’s where I thought I belonged as Master’s slave. Master told me that he slept better with me in the bed and that was where he wanted me. It isn’t always about what we want as slaves, it’s about where our Masters want us. Sending good thoughts for you!


  3. This is just the worst. I can’t get my head around the fact that in a modern country you can be fired for no reason, it’s absolutely awful. I am so, so sorry and really hope that something comes up soon.
    Sending lots of love, strength and good wishes.

  4. Oh man…. I think its almost worse this time around.. to see that light at the end of the tunnel then have the rug ripped right out from under you.

    I was going to suggest going to your county assistance office – that’s what i’ve done for Sir and myself and it has at least helped us eat decent food instead of ramen noodles all the time. In PA you can do the application online, not sure if thats possible in your state.

    1. @sublea Exactly, having the rug pulled out from under us is exactly what is so devastating now. I know in my heart that it’ll be okay, but in the meantime it’s just scary.

      We’ve already started applying for food stamps, heat assistance etc so we have high hopes some of that comes through.

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