It has been a long, long while since we did any ash tray play. The last time we did was last year, and it didn’t go so well. It seems like, because of my health, we keep having to start over from square one with these things which is frustrating. I wasn’t expecting us to do any ash play until that afternoon, when Master Pravus sent me a picture over Couple of a new package of cloves he bought. Still, I didn’t know when it was coming.
After I helped him change the car battery that night (well, I held the flashlight anyway), Master Pravus told me he wanted to go out back together under the gazebo. I had a rough idea of what was coming, but really he could have had me going back there just to sit and chat or because it was a nice night or a million other things.
I saw him fold up a blanket and knew that was where he wanted me to kneel. I also saw that he had brought the cloves with him. I knelt and I made my hand into an ash tray, as instructed. In my heart I was a bit worried about this time. Again, it had been a long time since we did anything with ashes. I was worried I would disappoint him and myself by fucking up and dropping the ashes.
I sat still while we chatted very quietly about the goings-on of the day. When it came time for him to flick his ash in my hands, I might have moved a fraction of an inch, but I caught the ash and I beamed with joy! Master Pravus was very proud of me, and he petted my nose.
We stayed outside while he finished his clove. I think I caught another four or five ashes in my hands and I was beyond proud. I did so badly the last time we did this that I thought I’d never be good at it again. I was more than willing to keep trying, but when you fail at something once, sometimes you think all sorts of stupid things in your head. I guess everyone can have an off night now and again. This was a big boost to my confidence, and I really needed it. I’m so proud and happy that I did a good job and I cannot wait until I have another opportunity to be of service to him in this way.
…Good thing he likes to smoke!