The past few weeks have been terrible.  I’ve been hanging in there to the best of my ability, but my stomach has reached really awful levels.  The doctor agrees I need to be seen as soon as possible, but there just isn’t space in his schedule.  While I’ve been doing my best to hang in there, it has caused major problems for me in my day to day.  So much time is spent in bed, which is not what I want.  Because I can’t be seen in person until next week, the doctor and nurses at my GI place have been trying to help me over the phone as best they can.  None of the medicines they have tried have been working, so my doctor has another hunch, and is sending me for testing before my appointment.  I really hope the tests show something treatable.  I need to get better.

Because I’ve been so sick I haven’t been online as much, even to update my blog or to tweet.  I’m doing my best just to take care of Master Pravus and myself and to carry out his desires on a day to day.  It’s hard.  It seems that as soon as we get one of my conditions stabilized, another crops up.  I’m frustrated, but hopeful that this condition will be the last one for a while and that we can stabilize it quickly.

Unfortunately, that’s not even the reason why I’m writing this blog post.  That’s just the “where I’ve been.”  I just got a call from Master Pravus, and I’m scared.  It turns out that the contract job he took back in March can’t keep him.  They love him, but with budget changes, they can’t hire him on.  It was nothing he did.  I just started shaking the second I heard the news, and I turned the tea I was making off.  I don’t think more caffeine will help.  I kind of doubt I’ll be able to sleep tonight.  Thanks, adrenaline.

This is just so scary.  This is the third time in a year that Master Pravus has lost his job, and although none of the times were his fault, it’s still terrifying.  Being on contract or without a job three times in one year is so scary.  It used up pretty much all our savings except a very meager amount (which is less than our mortgage).  Will we make it through?  Yes.  I’m sure we will.  We always do.  Each time we are about to fall into the “utterly screwed” line, we are brought back around by something.  A new job, the unemployment coming through, something.

Thing is, we will apply for unemployment again, which is great.  Also though, Master Pravus was given this contract back in March, and it was a four month contract.  So, even though he wasn’t hired that was definitely a great help.  We might be right back where we started, but we’ll find a way.  I know we will.  I’m fucking scared at shit though.  I hate how hard this past year has been.

Positive things:

We have a roof.

At least if Master had to lose this job, it was during the Mewtique‘s busy season.  That should help as well.

We have amazing friends and family.

We have each other.

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