Shut Yer Gob

Gob via fallout wikia

Screencap of Gob

It occurred to me as I’ve been laying around on the couch that I never talked about how or why we named my stoma Gob.  So, here goes!

First of all, when I found out I was having my loop ileostomy done, I felt completely overwhelmed.  That’s a major change, and it’s the most serious surgery I’ve had to date, requiring me to actually stay in the hospital for two days afterwards.  I started researching like crazy.

One thing about me, is that I don’t research “experiences.”  I do not want to know.  I mean, if a friend of mine went through something of course I want to be supportive and of course I want to know how theirs went or is going to go and I want to be helpful in any way I can.  I simply mean, I don’t start looking up strangers experiences.  Those always freak me out because the honest truth of it is that the vast majority of people who go through any procedure will only blog about it if it is really horrible.  If it went well, you typically get the standard “It was fine.  Don’t panic,” which doesn’t tell you anything either.  

The detailed experience stories always seem to be the horror shows.  At least 99% of them are.  When I read nothing but horror stories it makes me nervous.  So, while I did research a lot I was on Mayo Clinic pages and “how to change your bag” pages and “ostomy supply” pages and “what to eat after surgery” pages.  I didn’t want to know anything about complications because the stress of something going wrong is stress that I didn’t need or want.

One thing that many of the pages talked about was naming your stoma.  I wasn’t sure I really understood the point.  We didn’t name my Power Port, but my port is not a part of me.  It’s a metal bit inside of me that enhances me, but it doesn’t have its own personality to me, and it isn’t alive.  It’s a dead piece of metal and tubes that provides a function.  The articles I read said that one reason people name their stoma is to make things less awkward in public.  If you’re having a problem, you could always tell your companion “I’m having a problem with Arnold,” and they’ll know you need to find a washroom or something, rather than having to stay something like “My ostomy is acting up.”

I went through a very brief period of struggle before the surgery where I realized my stomach was never going to look the same again, and even if I bought bejeweled ostomy covers (or made my own) it just still would never be quite the same.  I would always have a bag in my silhouette now and there wasn’t anything that could be done about that.  I was slightly upset and I remember saying to Master Pravus that I would look like a ghoul.  After all, I’d have bits of my insides showing on the outside.  Master Pravus smiled a bit.  We both are fans of Fallout 3 and 4 and instantly it made me think of Gob, that sweet Ghoul from Fallout 3 that works at Moriarty’s.

“Let’s name it Gob!”  Master Pravus agreed it was cute and subtle and it felt a little less medical than saying “My stoma,” all the time.

And that’s how Gob got his name.


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