Hobbit Breakfast

I did not want this weekend to happen.  Repeat:  Did not want.  Why?  Well, I had looked at the freaking weather and both days were supposed to be over a hundred degrees.  As seen many times in the past, I am not someone who tolerates that sort of heat well, and even though we got window box AC stead of the Swamp Cooler we used to have, when the heat gets above ninety in here, it’s not enough and it becomes completely intolerable to us both.  When I saw how awful the heat was going to be I was just cringing thinking about what we were going to do to keep cool.

You know, everyone just says things like “go see a movie,” but that’s just not that realistic.  If you’re going on a freak hot day, spending $30-50 depending is an okay treat every now and then, but the temps have been consistently over ninenty almost daily since May, and it has been over a hundred degrees at least a few times a month, with the temps hitting mid nineties plenty often too.  This is very unseasonably warm for where we live, and we can’t always just go out every single night.  That would be completely ridiculous. 

Plus, we have probably another two months of this garbage.  (I hate the Summer, can you tell?)  Besides, going out every day wouldn’t leave us any time to be together, now would it?  ::Grumpy kitty face::  Not that we never go out either.  Some days Master Pravus comes home and declares that we’re going to just go to the diner because even cooking on the grill is too detrimental.  If you need to get out of the house you need to get out of the house.  I knew that the bulk of the weekend was going to be spent at home though, and I was definitely dreading it.

Saturday morning was, of course, Infusion.  I wouldn’t even mention it here, except that Master sent me this cute picture of Applepig that I didn’t realize he took and how could I not post it?  Ha!

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He must have taken that when I was in the bathroom.  Hehe.

After Infusion we did go to the diner, whereupon eggs, toast, and air conditioning were had.  Much of lunch was brought home and that’s okay because leftovers are a good thing.  We didn’t have many errands to run this past Saturday (which is good because even just running from the car to the door entrances the sun felt punishing) but we did need to get a new blind since the one in the kitchen was broken.  No big deal.  The lady at the hardware store did compliment me on my kitty ears and tell me I looked cute though.  Instant grin.

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I must have looked cute too, because Master Pravus even pointed out how much he liked my little purple ribbon roses.  I didn’t do anything too fancy with my hair that day (do I ever?), I just wanted it off of my neck to help keep me cool so up it went into a garlic knot.  You can also see that my undercut is starting to get longer!  I love how fuzzy it feels right now.  So soft!  It’s a lot less cooling than it was before, but if shaving it isn’t an option right now I’m trying to enjoy it growing back in.  (It’s way more fun growing an undercut back in when it’s cold out though!)

Once we got home, it became clear that the house wasn’t keeping up with the AC and that the only real way to cool down would be to go get the kitty pool and the mister going for me and Master.  It was already about three in the afternoon so we were well past the house’s normal “point of no return” with the heat.  We packed up pool pig and some drinks, I got changed into some pool clothes and we went outside.

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We were out there for about thirty minutes before I got spooked by not one, not two, but three spiders in a row!  We had forgotten to light the incense when we went out there and in the heat of the day what I call the “garden” spiders were out in full force.  I was so scared that Master Pravus came over, helped me stand up and then walked me into the house and let me change while he ran back out and got the mini cooler with the drinks and stuff to bring back in.  It was a total fail.  Usually we run into one or two of those spiders, but these ones were fast moving and all wicked close to me so I was panicky and didn’t recover from it.

Back in the house, Master Pravus set up my little computer station and let me play Neopets for a bit while he was installing the blind.  While I was sitting there, I had a very random burst of inspirational curiosity.

It being Summer, and it being hot, I wondered how you would go about making tea on a campfire.  Obviously, you need to have a way to boil water.  Obviously I didn’t want to haul the grill out to do this.  Obviously, you also cannot just put any old kettle into the fire pit.

I don’t talk about my childhood a lot here, but only because it doesn’t seem to come up a lot.  When I was a kid I did a lot of camping.  A lot.  I hated it.  I love the outdoors, but I don’t want to sleep there.  That’s just how I am.  I’m not afraid of snakes or most bugs, but spiders themselves really bother me enough that I don’t like to sleep outside.  That doesn’t mean I don’t like to camp (day camp!) or that I don’t want to cook outside or that I don’t think survival skills are cool.  I really do.  I just don’t want to ever need them, or to have to sleep outside.  So as a kid I’ve done a lot of cooking while camping, but most of it was grilling.  The campfire cooking I’ve done is fairly limited to things like hot dogs and marshmallows and banal things like that.  I’ve never made tea though.  When I was camping my parents just pulled the grill out.  So, what is the “modern” campfire tea solution, I wondered.

Master Pravus finished putting up his blind and he asked me what it was that I was doing.  (He even keeps tabs on my Neopets.  He knows which pet I feed gourmet food to and which days I work on restocking my shop and all that.  He roots me on.)  I told him that I had a sudden curiosity about how to make tea on the campfire.  I told him that I had never done it before and I had wondered if there was a way for us to do it with our particular fire pit.

“Of course there is!”

“I mean, we could make a hearth…  I just mean, cheap or simply.”

“Yes!  It’s not hard at all!”

And we started making plans to make breakfast the next morning over the campfire!

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“You know, if we can make tea that easily, we could probably make toast just as easily!”

“Yes, we can!”

So, the next morning we got up and Master Pravus had already started a fire outside and got a tripod set up above the fire pit.  The day was already starting to get ridiculously hot, so he had me sit in a shrinking patch of shade while he stayed near the mister and the blue cover watching the toast.  If you can make toast and tea over a campfire, you can keep me fed for a good long while.  After all, toast is the thing I would hoard if I was a dragon.


After my breakfast (toast and a bit of cheese) was done, Master Pravus pulled out a cast iron pan and got a much better breakfast going for himself.  He gave me a couple of bites.  I can handle nibbles of potatoes if I avoid skin.  Nom.  He let me have a bite of his Canadian bacon too.  It came out really good, especially for being on a campfire.  I thought it would come out tough.  Nope!  Campfire food does not mean tough!

After we ate our breakfast, we put the kettle on to make the tea because we knew the tea would take the longest to boil.  We filled a percolator with water and just stuck it on the tripod and lowered the tripod enough to be as close as we could to the fire.  It took about an hour or so to boil the water, I’d say.  That was the only “kettle” we boiled that day because like I said, it was really fucking hot.

We plan to cook outside more, just because we can and for no other reason, but maybe not when it’s a hundred degrees.  To be fair, it hadn’t hit a hundred yet when we woke up, but it didn’t take long!  Master Pravus thinks we’ll be more likely to do more campfire cooking in the Autumn months when it’s easier to stand near the thing.  He’s usually right.  It was a really cool experience for me though.

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A lot of people will say things like “cooking toast on a fire is way better than indoors!” I don’t know.  It’s relaxing.  It’s kind of nifty to put the toast on the fire and watch it cook, but it did take maybe twenty minutes where my usual toaster could do it a lot faster.  Still, cooking things over a campfire isn’t about how fast you can do it.  The novelty is pretty cool.  Plus, having hot food and being able to keep the temps in the house down is nice.  Cooking outside made me kind of want to go into the house and play Harvest Moon when it got too hot, but I never wound up digging that out.

Sunday was actually much hotter than Saturday was and we spent a whole fucking lot of it laying naked side by side in in the bedroom letting the air conditioner blow over us and barely moving except to get a drink or to piss.  We did eventually go back out to the pool though.  Thank goodness for that little pink pool!

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