Something Fishy This Way Comes

Saturday morning I woke up and Master Pravus helped me set up my IV fluids.  I usually do it myself during the week, but on the weekends he helps me with it.  I was prepared for this weekend to suck a lot for two reasons.  One: it was Mother’s Day weekend which means the flower shop was going to be slammed.  Two:  it was also my birthday which means that I was going to be home alone for long hours while Master Pravus was out running around doing the flower runs. 

I’m still not well enough to go with him.  While I can get around better than I could straight out of surgery, I definitely need my wheelchair for one, and for two I cannot sustain an eight to ten hour shift.  There is no way.  Especially considering how little my oral intake has been.  It’s just no good.

Master came home early on Saturday because he quit the flower delivery job.  Feel free to read all about why Master Pravus decided letting them fuck him over wasn’t worth it.  Tl;dr: fuck ’em.  Politely, but fuck ’em.

So, Master Pravus came home and he told me that since it was my birthday weekend we were of course going to begin celebrating today and he helped me get dressed and I was feeling really cute:

This dress makes me so freaking twirly, oh my gosh.  Hehe.

He took a couple of pictures of me on our porch before we left on our super secret surprise adventure.  It took nearly an hour to get to the place Master Pravus was bringing us!  It wound up being a petting zoo, which was supposed to be open every day of the year according to their own website!  Nifty!  We showed up and it was completely closed.  Fuck you, petting zoo!  You suck!  I got dressed and left the house with Applepig for this.

Of course, me and Applepig sat in the car and pouted because we couldn’t believe we sat in the car so much and the place was not open.  This reminded us of the time we travelled all the way to the apple farm only to have no apples.  What is it with Colorado and no one wanting to update their websites properly?  Before you even say “Call first!” Master Pravus did!  When they didn’t pick up before we left he assumed they were super busy and we should just go.  After all they did say “Open EVERY day.”  Pssh.

Here’s Master Pravus on the phone while Applepig and me were taking selfies.  He untethered Tabuloto so I literally had nothing else to do.  We had gotten all dressed up and Master Pravus decided we were going to go somewhere.  But..  Where?  Where could we go?  It took a lot of thinking.  All the old birthday plans were out.  All of them.  We needed something new, and Master Pravus wanted to make it special.  He also didn’t want me to know what it was.  I sat there and listened to a whole bunch of:

“Ah, yes.  How late are you open?”


Eventually he said:

“Great!  We’ll see you then!”

And he retethered my tablet (so I could catch pokemon, of course) and pulled out.  After maybe twenty minutes or so we found ourselves at..  A mall?  Yes.  A mall.

Now, just to be silly, I started asking where we were going.

“Are we here to go to Cinnabon?”

“Do you think you could eat a Cinnamon roll??!  BECAUSE I WILL BUY YOU ONE!”

“Well..  No.”

“Ha.  No.”

“Are we here for Simple Mobile?”


“Are we here for Hot Topic?”


“Are we here for Things Remembered?”


“Are we buying a prom dress?”  (We were rolling past a window with formal gowns.)

“How would you like a green one?”

“That’s not me at all!  A prom dress should be black!  Or maybe scarlet..”

And on and on all the way down the mall.  I couldn’t figure out why we were there, but I was just being silly asking him about each and every store we went past.  He made quips and remarks like he did about the prom dress.  Finally we got to the end of the line, and since I was in my wheelchair, I couldn’t see beyond a couple of vending machines.

“Well..  I mean.  Are we here for a soda from the vending machine?  I don’t see anything else and I think I’ve asked about everything else on this floor?”

“I think you just can’t see it yet.”

“See what..?”

And as we got a bit closer it became completely clear to me.

“PUPPIES!  Oh my gosh we’re getting a puppy.  It’s finally time!  We’re getting a PUPPY FOR MY BIRTHDAY THIS IS IT!”


“But..  This is a puppy store.”  My face fell.

“We’re not getting a puppy.”

“Are we getting a bunny?”


Are we getting a mouse??”

“Of course not!  You’re a cat!!  That’s inhumane!”

“But.  They don’t have anything else here..”

“I guess not.  OK.  We’re leaving because we need to get to another store that has what I want to get you in it.”

“You..  Brought me to a puppy store on my birthday and you’re not getting me a puppy?  You really are a sadist.”  🙁

We went back to the car and it was time for plan C.  Plan C was really still plan B, but we obviously needed another store to get what Master Pravus wanted to get.  So.  He called up another couple of stores to be sure one was open and off we went.  This one had exactly what he wanted.  Also:  I knew what I was getting the moment he wheeled me into the store.

Time for Henry VII.

One thing I don’t talk about a whole lot on here is my love of betta fish.  I really love them.  I kept them a lot as a tween and teen and I stopped when I was an adult because fish keeping is kind of expensive.  Still, I always kept bettas, and my fish have all lived for a long time.  Every one of my fish has lived for 3-4 years at least with the unfortunate exception of Henry VI.  When I bought him he was already in a pool of betta revive, so I should have known better, however all of the bettas in that store were in betta revive and I didn’t think anything of it at the time. 

The ENTIRE time I had him he suffered a terrible battle with fin rot and he didn’t live longer than a year.  🙁  I felt awful about it.  I did everything I could for him, but some fish cannot be saved.  Anyway.  I didn’t write much about him because I had him for a little while before I got this blog, and then he passed away shortly after, but you can read about Henry VI a tiny bit here.

As a side note: every betta fish I have ever had has been named Henry.  Henry I, Henry II, and so on.  We are now at Henry VII.  🙂

I got into the store, and Master Pravus got me a basket for my lap and we started picking out the things we wanted.  Of course immediately a bossy fucking employee started following us around:



I could tell he thought I knew nothing about betta care, but I could tell from overhearing him, that putting a betta in his care was a death sentence and I wanted nothing to do with him.  He was trying to get me to buy a plant to put on TOP of a vase because it “acts as a food source so you don’t have to feed your betta.”  FUCK NO IT DOESN’T.  Bettas are carnivores and they need to eat meat and that is a great way to kill your betta.  Do some research if you don’t believe me.  The minute he told me that I was like “anything this guy says is automatically stupid.”  AND BETTAS DO NOT BELONG IN VASES they need 2.5 gallons of water minimum and a heater.  They are tropical fish.  Mister stupid pet store guy.


Now, I’m not saying that all people who work in pet stores are morons, but as with anything- some people are.  This guy clearly was.  One thing to know about Master Pravus is that he also has a love of fish.  He used to keep a lot of fish tanks before he met me so this is a hobby we both share.  He used to keep mainly freshwater tanks (like my bettas) but he kept much more fancy fish.  He kept tropical fish as well, but has a love of koi.  (Oh boy!)  So, while he knows a lot about kois he admits that he doesn’t know as much about bettas.  So this is kind of a new adventure for him. 

Aside from Henry VI, he’s never really owned a betta before and that was a few years ago.  Maybe one (in a bowl, but I’m going to pretend that never happened because it’s cruel and he knows better now), but he didn’t know about them at the time.  So I’m teaching him all about the amazing gorgeous world of bettas.  With all the misinformation out there, you can’t blame people for not knowing.  You can, however, blame them for not learning in the information age.  Information is easier to find than ever!

Anyway.  This is about Henry, and my birthday.  No need to get ranty.  It’s just hard for me.  I really, really love bettas.  I’ll just say this:  if you have a betta and you don’t know much about them, please do some research.  There are a lot of misconceptions about them.  They are beautiful creatures but they require more care than most people think.

As we were going down the aisle, the first thing we picked up was the tank.  We settled on a 2.5 gallon tank to start.  We were only getting one fishie.  We picked up some black rocks, a heater, it already came with a filter.  We picked up a temperature sticker to put on the outside of the tank.  You have to know exactly what temperature it is in the tank.  We were choosing a decoration for the tank, and we settled on a bridge.  It was really cute and also offered a good place for the fishie to hide in.  We loved it.  Mr. Obtrusive employee kept coming over to try to help us.  GO AWAY.  I DO NOT WANT YOUR UPSELLS.

So we tried to get some betta food and they only had one type, which wasn’t as meaty as I would have liked, but it wasn’t awful or flakes, so I picked it up thinking I’d get something else later and this was fine for now.  Then, it was finally time for the BEST PART!  FUCK YES!

Choosing which gorgeous little fishy was going to be our gorgeous little fishy.  Which one?

I have a system for this.  Everyone has their own I’m sure and it doesn’t even fucking matter.  It’s just whatever works for you.  It’s your fish!  You have to pick the one you feel the most drawn to.  You have to choose the one you like!  My system is that, I first look at all the fish and I try to see which ones seem to be the most active.  Of the most active fish, I then try to choose which one seems to be the most beautiful to me

That’ll be something different to everyone!  Some people want a rosetail (Not me!  Those are pretty, but they can have so many problems with their fins.), some want a certain color, some want one that seems more mellow.  I mean, it’s up to you.  So we’re trying to choose my fucking birthday fish and we find this beautiful pink fucking fish.  I pick it up and am holding it as our “current” winner which will surely be replaced but who cares we’re having fun when Mr. Obtrusive employee comes back to loudly proclaim to the whole store:


I gave him the stink eye and told him:

“I don’t care, I’m still choosing and I think it’s pretty.”

Like.  Fuck off now?  Of all the shit you have to buy to keep ANY fish happy, more often than not the fish is the cheapest part of your setup.  I mean, of the fish available to me that day, the bettas were $4.99-$19.99.  I don’t give a flying cactus shit what it costs.  Its whole setup costs way more than even the highest end betta they have.  So please take a hint and realize that you’re only pissing me off and I don’t want you in my space.  Thanks.

It was getting to me so fucking much that I almost bought that mega cheap betta out of spite (it was super pretty, the color of my boots!) but it wasn’t the fish we wound up getting.  We kept looking and eventually we found our Henry VII.

He was a beautiful blue betta with reddish tones.  We picked him up second, and we kept looking at other bettas but every time we did, Master Pravus just kept saying:

“This one’s fins are just “amazingly gorgeous.”  He was clearly in awe, which made me even more in awe.  I’d never owned a crown tail personally, so off we went to the counter with our spoils.

We got home and fed Henry.  Poor little guy.  I didn’t want to leave him in the cup for even one itty bitty minute.  Unfortunately, the minute we opened up the tank we realize we would need to!  Poor Henry’s tank had a crack in it!  NO!  I absolutely hated leaving him in his cup overnight, but I whispered to him about how it would be worth it and I put him in the warmest room in the house.  He seemed okay.

Master Pravus vowed to go down on his own in the morning to get Henry’s new tank.  He figured that way it would go faster rather than waiting for my fluids to finish running and then go down together.  We wanted to get Henry into his tank as soon as we could.  While we were looking into the spot we had for his tank, we thought about it though and we thought we could fit a five gallon tank.  So lucky Henry was not only going to get a tank with no crack, but also an upgrade!

More Birthday Excitement to be continued..  =^^=

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