The Despair

I read a lot. No, not a lot of different things, I guess a lot of the same things- but the things I read can really affect me and my moods. I can be really happy or sad or I can, you know, be prone to fits of despair (shrugs) based on what I just read. I mean, if I read a lot of something that’s particularly.. Moody.

Lately I’ve been working on an audiobook that’s. Well. Despair will wash over me at least once a day. It’s becoming a usual part of my routine. It will generally hit me in the bathtub. I’ve been stuck on this audiobook for about a month and a half because there’s a particular line that I just cannot move past. It’s funny in an outrageous kind of way, but the rest of the story is not. I just can’t move past it. However, I absolutely refuse to move on until I do. I’m absolutely that stubborn.

The other day I was sitting on the couch minding my own business when I was hit with another wave of despair. You can see it hitting me, my face reads like a book.

Master Pravus: “Kitty, you alright?”

Me: “Despair..”

Master Pravus: “No. No. Not this early. I’m fixing this.”

Me: “Despair knows no time of day.”

Master Pravus: “I’ll get the aromatherapy.”

Me: “What? I think I feel more despair coming on. You’re kidding, right?”

Master Pravus: “No,” (picks up a small bottle) “I’ve figured this out, you need five drops of this one..” (picks up another small bottle) “…and six drops of this one.”

Me: “This is preposterous. This. This is. Literally, aromatherapy for despair? You..?”

Master Pravus: “..’Chills you out. I’ve been experimenting.”

Me: “You’ve been experimenting?! What?”

Master Pravus: “Try that.” ::Gestures vaguely at a diffuser:: “How’s your despair now?” ::Smug look on face::

Me: “I. Oh. Uhm. Actually.” ::Looks suspicious, then actually feels kind of calm:: “What did you say was in that again?”

Master Pravus: “I can’t give you the secret! It took me forever to figure that out! ..But you do feel better now don’t you?”

Me: “I guess I kind of do.”

Master Pravus: “We have got to get you past that audiobook.”

Me: “It’s going to be this way for the next hundred years. I don’t feel hopeful about it. But, the despair is gone for now.”

Master Pravus: ::Smuggest look I’ve ever seen on his face::

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