Inertia

I’m not doing well, and I can’t exactly put my finger on the exact cause. I mean. I realize that these things don’t always have a cause. Sometimes you just wake up and you’re a little bit sicker, and you go through a small period of “unwellness” and then you’re better again. I mean, it happens. But I was talking to Master Pravus when I was in the tubbie the other night, and I said to him “this is completely unlike me. I haven’t been able to film a video in over a month, and I’m barely taking any pictures. I’m almost flat on my back most of the time. I can’t figure out what’s causing this amount of crippling illness. I mean, I have videos I have made while I was sick before and they sell great. How on earth have I reached this new kind of low where I’m barely functioning again?”

And we both thought about it, and it really seems like I was doing pretty OK. (I mean, seemed to be improving and all that up until my most recent tube change. I honestly don’t know what happened at that tube change, but it wasn’t right. I was laid up for an entire week, when I should have been on my feet the very next day in no pain at all. After that, I had a few times where I tried to film, got the room set up, got my makeup on costume ready and then I would start spiking fevers high enough to give me the rigors and I would have to go lay down. I feel like I’m just stuck. Every time I start to “get somewhere” my body just revolts against me. I’m just too sick to function right now and it’s terrible.

To top it all off, I got a kidney stone the other day so I’m feeling especially awful and it’s making it even harder to get anything done. I’m just. Riding the struggle bus and I can’t figure out how to get off. >.>

/End update.