My Wholesome Master Pravus

I posted a very silly meme recently on Twitter. It doesn’t really matter what the meme had in it exactly. I mean. It caused a very silly conversation to occur. I had posted it on my (xxx) Tumblr but now I think I’m probably going to start posting a series of little keyholes based on this ridiculous theme and now I sort of need to give a little history for it first. So, here’s the first conversation that occurred:

Story One:

Master Pravus: “I saw a meme you posted. I want to ask you questions about it.”

Me: “Ok. How can I.. Help?”

Master Pravus: “You filled in colored jars with your kinks. I get most of them. I know your kinks. Whatever.”

Me: “…? How can I..?”

Master Pravus: “What’s wholesome?”

Me: 😳 “I’m sorry?”

Master Pravus: “Well. What IS WHOLESOME? I can’t figure it out?”

Me: (Pausing to think for a minute and then really slowly replying) “…Do you think it’s possible? That you. Are, just not very wholesome?”

Master Pravus: (Taking his time to consider this) “I GUESS I’M NOT WHOLESOME! YEAH! I’m not wholesome!”

After that conversation, we honestly both ugly laughed for a little bit, because the conversation itself was… Sort of wholesome? It was really adorable. But more things have been happening to crack open Master Pravus’ gruff exterior and show the soft, goopy, wholesome character he might be harboring inside of him. (I have always known that this person was in there, showing itself from time to time. However, I thought some of these moments were cute enough to share.)

But then THIS Happened:

I was getting ready for bed. And as usual I am a slightly overly dramatic poptart about, you know- everything.

Kitty: “My tummy hurts, and nobody knows how brave I’m being right now,” I bitched, doubled over in bed, holding Reddiboi and my little red Dragon to my chest.

Master Pravus: “I know, Kitty.” Aww. <3

Kitty: (Overdramatically): “Not even you know! Nobody knows. Only me, and Reddiboi!”

Master Pravus: “That’s probably true. But I can tell you’re brave, because you never give up. What would help?”

Kitty: (In her most dramatic voice yet) “Probably nothing. You’ll have to leave me to die. There’s definitely no hope.”

Master Pravus: (Trying obviously way harder than any human being should try) “When I was a kid, my tummy never hurt…”

Kitty: (Interrupting, completely dumbfounded) “There’s no way, you’re saying your tummy literally never hurt?!”

Master Pravus: (Who has somehow adopted the patience of a saint for the moment) “Yes. Never. I never had a sick tummy when I was little. Ever. I don’t know exactly why, I can’t prove it with science, and I can’t guarantee this will work…” He hesitated.

Kitty: (Just blankly staring, in obvious misery, and looking dubiously at him).

Master Pravus: “….But I always slept with Teddy when I was little. And maybe if you sleep with him tonight… Your tummy will feel better.”

Kitty: (The look my face did at this completely wholesome suggestion is not even wordable in words.) “I. Are you sure? You don’t like to sleep with him!”

Master Pravus: “I’m sure. You don’t even have to give up any of your current plushies to sleep with him. You can have one extra in the bed.”

Kitty: “I’m already better. I promise.”

(Tell me this man isn’t wholesome. Tell me. He just doesn’t understand what it is. But he’s wholesome alright. Somewhere deep beneath his dark, twisted outer shell lies a soft tender marshmallow undercoat. It just doesn’t come out very often, but when it does: it’s perfection. And on top of that: my tummy was better in the morning. Vastly. Maybe Teddy is the secret after all.)

“I’m already better I promise!”

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