Instrument of Tears

I had just finished my tubbie and was about to slither back into my binder like snek when a certain instrument came on the music station we were playing.

“Noo, I’ll cry you have to change it..!”

Master Pravus didn’t change it. He knows the sound of [instrument redacted because I’m worried posting it publicly is a terrible move for me] will bring me to tears right away. I came into the bedroom with a towel on.

“I’m serious, look I’m tearing up already.”

“Maybe you need this.”


“Can I have a minute?” And I just sat down on the bed, listening to the music, trying not to cry. “I guess I’m going to cry while we get me into my binder…” I said trying to muscle through. Master Pravus had other ideas.



“What if when you get to heaven the angels played [redacted instrument] instead of the harp?”

He broke me. I literally started to cry heavy, wet, snot-filled tears. I’m an atheist and I don’t believe in heaven, but I still can be moved by the poetic beauty of angels playing an instrument that makes a sound so beautiful I cry whenever I hear it.

“I.. I need several minutes now, I think.”

He changed the current song to another one, same instrument.

“Amazing grace?” I complained through even fatter, wetter tears.

“What else would the angels play when you arrive?” he asked. I didn’t have a good answer. I don’t think I could speak well enough to respond anyway.

He let me lay down, and he dimmed the lights while I just cried. And while I cried, he kept a steady hand on my thigh. And I noticed that the only person having a difficult time with this whole surprise scene was really me. I hadn’t expected to cry, I hadn’t wanted to cry, I don’t play that music for a reason, and he (out of nowhere really) decided tonight to spring some dacryphilia on me, but in a way that’s never happened before, and I didn’t expect at all. I was really shocked and had a difficult time sitting through it. But I got through it, with Master Pravus’ steady hand supporting my leg.

When I was calming down (because he turned off the music) and nearly done shaking and crying, he took this picture:

I was much calmer by then of course, but you can still see tears. And gosh, I even still have tape because I tape my port up to take a tubbie. Ugh. I really got hit with this out of nowhere. Surprise, surprise. I’ve come for your tears, Kitten. Give those precious sweet tears to me. Well, here they are.

Here they are.

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