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Lonely

Morale isn’t too bad over here.  Master has been working hard on searching for a new job, and I’ve been working a lot on cam as well as the Mewtique.  Things are tough, but we’re making it work for now.  I wouldn’t mind having better stamina, but that’ll get better with time.

Our days are long and physically demanding.  I get up, do my exercises, then I go online each day until midnight or so.  Sometimes I quit early if I’m too wiped out.  Master stays up every day until midnight too, but he stops looking for work around 6PM.  Not only does he need a break, but honestly, it’s not like you can make calls or like people are there to answer emails after 6PM or so anyway.

While the hours are long and demanding, it really isn’t too bad.  I mean, I love being on cam and I have no problems with it whatsoever.  I used to cam even more hours than I am right now, but my exercises are not something I can skip anymore.  They are too important to my continued recovery for my POTS.  So, every day I lose some time first thing but it’s really unavoidable.  At least being on cam and sewing for the Mewtique are both things I love doing, so I don’t dislike my time doing either.

The biggest thing we are both struggling with is being lonely.  We miss each other like crazy.  Master sits in another room while I cam (it is against site rules for him to be in my chat room with me) and I really only see him first thing in the morning when I do my exercises, during meals, and for any doctor appointments I need to go to.  That’s a lot more than other people get, but due to the stress of our situation we haven’t had time to even watch television for an hour a day together let alone to have sex of any kind.

My day online ends, and Master comes into the room to snuggle me briefly in my lingerie, before tucking me into bed with my restraints and snuggling me up until I fall asleep, ready to start again the next day.

It isn’t so much that we’re desperate to have sex.  We absolutely do want time for intimacy, sex, bondage, and other types of training, but it is so much more than that.  We get so little touch each day.  We are both very hands on people and we want to be able to touch more.  We dream of me being able to kneel at his feet while we relax in front of the T.V. or while he smokes a cigar.  The littlest things are the absolute biggest things to us right now.  We are just so lonely for each other.

No matter what though, we have made time for my ballet boot training every day.  Right now, it is only taking about ten minutes anyway and I’m progressing really well.  I can feel my feet, ankles, and legs getting stronger each day and that is something that I really love being able to do.  I just wish there was time for a bit more, and I know Master does too.  I hope things get better and less stressful for us.  I miss being together.

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