I hear it all the time. “No, I don’t want to top, I want to be the one receiving the sensations.” As though being a bottom or a slave is all about physical stimulus. I want to receive too, but it’s not only the physical stimulation I’m after.
I want to receive the dark, angry look in your eyes before we play. I want to receive the joyful eye smiles, too. I want to receive permission. Permission isn’t just about orgasms, I want to receive permission to go places, eat certain foods, wear what you want me to wear.
I want to receive rejection. I want to know that sometimes, even if it is fine, you’re not going to let me do it. Sometimes, rejection and hearing “no” is purely an exercise is learning to obey. I want that. I want to hear “no” when there is absolutely no reason why it shouldn’t be a “yes.”
I want to receive your tasks. I want to receive your most tedious chores. You want your CDs categorized and alphabetized? I want to receive that privilege. I want to spend time doing tedious busy work, to show you that I am far more than the person who just wants to lay on a bed and receive pleasure. Pleasure is wonderful. Pleasure is fun. Pleasure is not everything I am after.
I want to receive pain. Not soft, fluffy pain. Not the kind of pain that makes you fall asleep because it is easy to take. I want to gasp and moan and feel those bruises coming in. I want to feel the shocks, the scalpel, the paddle. I want it to be difficult, and I want to prove to you how good I can be. I want to show you that I will be so good for you and take what you dish out to me.
And yes, I want to receive orgasms. I want to receive your cock. I want to receive your soft, fluffy pain too. I want to feel your knives teasing me. I want to feel the crop with its fluffy texture against me, warning me what is to come in a moment. I want to feel you inside me and I want to receive your seed.
There is so much more to receiving than so many people realize. And at the crux of it? Giving. You have to give to receive, that is one of the things I love so much about BDSM. And I will be right here giving and receiving, even if in different ways than many think of.